sex_ed_blog

one more reason you might want to wait to have sex

2008-09-08T00:00:00-04:00

Even the most liberal adult will usually say the older a girl is when she starts having sex, the better. Partly that's because of the assumption that older teens will be more mature, more educated about sex and more able to protect themselves from the risks associated with it, than younger kids.

Now the cautionary types can add an additional reason to wait: abuse.

The relationship between the two was discovered by Love is Respect, an organization dedicated to preventing teen dating violence, who along with Liz Claiborne commissioned a study of girls, sex, dating, and abuse.

Surveys were given to girls 11-14. Parents and older teens, 15-18, were also interviewed. Unfortunately, the findings were pretty grim and showed that a lot of girls were suffering from a lot of bad treatment. They also showed that the risk of being physically abused by a partner really is higher the earlier a girl first becomes sexually active.

Here are some numbers from the study:

One out of three teens who had sex by age 14 (34%) said they had been physically abused by an angry partner (hit, kicked, or choked).
Among teens who first had sex at age 15 or 16, one in five (20%) had endured such beatings.
For teens who started having sex later, the physical abuse rate, was significantly lower (9%).

Additionally, when you lump all forms of abuse--physical, sexual and verbal--together, the numbers are even worse. In that case, girls who had sex by the time they were 14 were found to be almost 70% more likely to be victims. than those who held off on having sex for even a few more years.

So what's up with this? Here are three possibilities:

1) Girls who are sexually active as "tweens" often have sex with significantly older partners. These people often seek out younger girlfriends they can control and manipulate.

2) Having low self esteem can make it more difficult for someone to stand up for herself or leave a dangerous situation. Far be it for me to claim that feeling bad about themselves is the only reason young teens have sex. But in reality, plenty of girls have sex before they are ready as a way to temporarily feel good about themselves.

3) Already being the victim of abuse at home can make a girl more likely to end up with an abusive partner. If she has previously been the victim of sexual abuse, she might try to "erase" those memories by having sex with someone else, even at a young age.

One of the ways Love is Respect suggests we address this situation is to implement educational programs on dating and abuse. This isn't something that is going to happen tomorrow. So it is important to know that there is help out there for teen, and even tween, victims of dating violence.

Though it can seem really scary, one of the first things that can help is telling your parents or another adult what's going on. And whether or not that is an option, you can always call the Teen Dating Violence Hotline at 1-866-331-9474.

Abuse isn't just an adult issue, but sometimes adults forget to look for the signs of it in kids.

Photo provided by ozlogy

do you know if medicaid pays for abortions?

2008-09-05T00:00:00-04:00

Question: Do you know if Medicaid pays for abortions?

Answer: It depends on where you live. In some states it does and in others it doesn't.

I know where I live, in New York, Medicaid not only covers abortions, but if a woman is under 21, she can get something called "Emergency Medicaid" if she isn't able to pay for the procedure. This can be applied for on the spot, but it is a pretty unique program and in most states the process is a lot more complicated.

So why isn't abortion always covered? Largely, this is due to something called the Hyde Amendment. This amendment passed in 1976 and it determines what abortion services are covered under Medicaid. Until the Hyde Amendment passed, Medicaid covered abortions, just like it covered almost any other procedure. After it passed, states were barred from using federal funds to cover abortions except in cases of rape or incest. However, a Medicaid program can pay for abortion as long as it uses state and not federal funds to do so. 17 states have decided to do this.

Check out the National Abortion Federation to find out if Medicaid covers abortion in your state. What happens if you live in a state that won't cover you? One option is to contact the National Network of Abortion Funds. This organization helps over 22,000 women a year pay for abortions if they can't otherwise do so.

Having an abortion is hard enough as it is! It is really unfortunate that so many women also have to struggle with how to pay for it.

Have you had an experience with Medicaid and abortion? What was it like?

on having HPV--from the gURL message boards

2008-09-04T00:00:00-04:00

psychobilly_kitten says, "I just got these warts and I'm guessing by looking at pictures online and stuff that I have HPV ... though I haven't gone to a gynecologist yet.

"I am very mad at myself for ever having unprotected sex. I'm glad that this can go away...thankfully, but it has definitely taught me a lesson.

"I can honestly say I am NEVER having unprotected sex again!!! In fact I don't plan on having sex again with anyone until I am in a serious relationship with someone I love. I've had enough messing around!!!!

"If any younger girls out there read this...please take something from it! Get the vaccine, use protection always, and don't trust guys!!!!"

What do you think? Leave a comment below. Or, if you want to join the discussion on the boards, go to the relationships & sex board.

practicing safer sex? thank your folks

2008-09-03T00:00:00-04:00

When I was in high school, my family had sit down dinners almost every evening. Granted, if it was a night my mom was working and my dad was in charge, those meals might have been of the hot dog and baked bean variety...but regardless of what we ate, the table was set, the TV was off and conversation was had.

I had mixed feelings about our dinners. Sometimes I really enjoyed them. Other times, like when everyone else was headed out for a night of endless coffees at the diner, I'd try to weasel my way out.

Well, according to a new study, my folks had the right idea. Researchers at Boston College found that teens in homes with things like regular family meals and family activities, "had sex less frequently, less unprotected sex and fewer sex partners."

A lot of studies have looked at how parenting influences whether or not teens have sex. But this study was one of the first to look at the relationship between home life and the risks taken by teens who are sexually active. That's an important distinction because there is a really big difference between a kid who has unprotected sex with 15 different people and a kid who practices safer sex with partners she is involved with.

The same study found that, "less negative and hostile parenting during mid-adolescence predicted lower sexual risk behaviors during late adolescence."

On the other hand, teens were more likely to take sexual risks if they had rigid parents who imposed strict rules and were psychologically controlling.

Again, it seems like my folks were on to something. I had rules, but even at the time I knew they were pretty reasonable. For example, I never had a strict curfew. I was, however, expected to call home any time I changed locations--and this was in an era before cell phones.

Also, though they didn't like it, I was allowed to sleep over boyfriends' houses. Their rationale was that they would rather know where I was than have me sneaking around behind their backs.

As a teen my parents worried about me a lot. I had some questionable boyfriends, stayed out late and could rarely be found waiting for a bus without a cigarette in hand. However, now I can tell them that research proves their instincts were right on. Without their flexibility and our dinner time chats, the choices I made could have been a whole lot worse!

What do you think? Does time with your family make a difference to you?

what is precocious puberty?

2008-09-02T00:00:00-04:00

When you think about how your body changes as a teen, things like developing boobs, getting your period and suffering from acne often come to mind.

Well, what if these things came a lot earlier? Like at 6 or 7 years old? When this happens it is called precocious puberty, and the phenomenon is becoming more common.

In some cases, precocious puberty is due to a brain injury or tumor. Often, though, there is no known cause. Some people worry that the rise in cases is due to the hormones added to meat and milk. Others blame high rates of childhood obesity or environmental pollution for the situation.

Usually precocious puberty isn't a medical risk, though it can result in kids being shorter than they would have been otherwise. Often the most challenging aspect is that it can be really hard for a kid emotionally and socially to develop before everyone else.

Imagine being the only kid in 1st grade who has to worry about wearing a bra or getting your period at school?.

Plus, kids who go through puberty extra early may be at greater risk for sexual assault. That's because while they look older physically, they generally don't have the maturity or skills that an older kid might use to protect themselves.

If someone suspects precocious puberty, it's important to get checked out. That way if there is a serious issue like a brain tumor, it can get treated. But even if there isn't, doctors will often try to slow puberty down in young kids by using hormone therapy.

Even if you don't medically qualify as having precocious puberty, starting puberty before everyone else can be rough. Did you go through puberty really early? What was it like?

it's a fact: teen sex doesn't always end in disaster

2008-09-01T14:11:00-04:00

If you listen to a lot of the chatter out there, it would seem as if sexually active teens were the equivalent to lighted sticks of dynamite: disasters waiting to happen (as illustrated by Gossip Girl).

There are a few reasons people feel this way:

One is the moral belief that sex should only happen between a married man and woman. This logic holds that since most teens aren't married, they shouldn't be having sex.

Another is that people worry about teens' emotional states. They fear that teens are too immature to handle sex and will be devastated when things don't go as they planned.

Then there are serious health concerns. Teen pregnancy and the risk of contracting an STD are often cited as good reasons to urge teens not to have sex.

Now I can't speak to the first issue. Everyone's morals are different and I don't want to try to change someone else's beliefs just because I don't share them. I do, however, have some ideas about the other two points.

When it comes to emotions, it's true that a lot of teens get messed up when sex doesn't turn out the way they thought it would. Or if a relationship doesn't materialize after sex, or ends because of it.

However, this view lumps all teens together and doesn't see them as individuals. Teens who feel better about themselves and have high self esteem are more likely to make good choices about sex than teens who don't.

One example is my friend Iris. Iris was close with her parents, felt good about herself and first had sex at sixteen. The guy was Mike, her boyfriend of a year. He was in her grade and they were crazy about each other (and actually got married after a ten year break up!). Iris gushed about the experience at the time saying, “It was so great. It didn't hurt at all and I even had an orgasm!”

Years later she told me that she was really happy to have become sexually active when she did. “Being with Mike showed me how good sex could be and that I should expect guys to be considerate, fun and creative in bed."

So what about the disease and pregnancy issue? We all know how bleak the American stats are on this front. So wouldn't it be best if teens never had sex?

For the most part, both pregnancy and STDs are preventable. Kids who have access to condoms, birth control and health care are going to face these issue a lot less frequently than those who don't. And if they do end up in a bad spot? Well, a teen who can see a doctor easily will sure be able to deal with the situation better than a kid who can't.

Really, many of the crises related to young people, STDs and pregnancy, are the result of problems with the American health care and sex education systems, and not due to problems inherent to teen sex.

Sex sure isn't the right choice for all teens. But it also isn't always the wrong one and it seems silly to pretend that all sexual experiences between teens will be disastrous.

Of course, if you are thinking about having sex, the more you know about the subject, the better. One good way to make your decision is to go through a checklist like the one Scarleteen created. Because the more prepared you are, and the more thought you've given your decision, the more likely you are to have a positive, safe and healthy experience. And that's something everyone who is sexually active deserves.

What do you think? Agree? Disagree?

are there any reasons to be on the pill besides not getting pregnant?

2008-08-29T00:00:00-04:00

Question: Are there any reasons to be on the pill besides not getting pregnant?

Answer: Yup!

There are actually a number of common reasons that a doctor will prescribe the pill which have nothing to do with pregnancy prevention.

Here are four:

1) Certain types of birth control can help clear up acne.
2) The pill can help regulate irregular periods.
3) Girls with really heavy periods and bad cramps are sometimes put on the pill to help relieve their symptoms.
4) Medical conditions, like polycystic ovarian syndrome and endometriosis can be treated with the pill.

Plus, the pill actually reduces a woman's risk of developing ovarian and endometrial cancer!

The pill isn't for everyone. It makes some girls moody. Others get side effects like headaches and nausea. And there are health conditions that could make it dangerous to be on the pill. But for women whose doctors okay it, the pill can be really helpful to deal with a whole bunch of things that have nothing to do with preventing potential baby making.

Have any of you been prescribed the pill for non-contraceptive reasons? How did your parents react?

what gURLs think about virginity

2008-08-28T00:00:00-04:00

One gURL says, "I think that virginity and waiting for your future spouse is a gift that too many people give away without thinking about it. I mean, you are only a virgin once, right? I am not a prude, and I don't like to enforce my beliefs on other people but virginity is a win-win situation, you have NO chance of getting pregnant or STIs, you keep yourself and your emotions whole, you don't have relationships based on sex, and your spouse and you will share something that no one else in the world will ever have."

Read more from what gURLS think about virginity. Then leave a comment below on what you think.