tyra "shocked" by results of teen sex survey. but how valid are her stats?

A few weeks ago Tyra Banks continued the daytime talk show tradition of parading teen girls across the stage, grilling them about their sex lives and then acting shocked when they say things like, "I'm 13 and want a baby!" or, "I'm 15 and have already slept with 20 guys."

The excuse for this latest round of gawking was to discuss the results of a sex survey that the Tyra Show had conducted. According to these results:

• On average, girls are losing their virginity at 15 years of age.
• 14 percent of teens who are having sex say they’re doing it at school.
• 52 percent of survey respondents say they do not use protection when having sex.
• One in three says she fears having a sexually transmitted disease.
• 24 percent of teens with STDssay they still have unprotected sex.
• One in five girls says she wants to be a teen mom.
• About 50 percent acknowledge that they’ve hit someone.
• One out of three teens has tried drugs.

teens use condoms more than adults!

Teens get a pretty bad rap with all the outcry over teen pregnancies and the growing rate of STDs among young people.

But they should also get credit when credit is due, and when it comes to condom use, a new study reveals that just might be the case.

sex in high school: what's normal

One of the most common questions I get from teens is, "What's the average age to first have sex?"

There are two basic motivations for the inquiry. The first is basic curiosity. The second is the need for reassurance. Teens want to know that they are normal whether or not they have had sex.

So I am happy to be able to tell them they are. Why’s that? Mainly because studies have found that about half of all teens have had sex by the time they finish high school. That means the other half hasn't. Having sex or not, what these numbers say to me is that a lot of your peers are in the same boat.

teens having fewer abortions, but why?

The Guttmacher Institute, a research and education organization dedicated to advancing sexual and reproductive health, just released a study on abortion. One of the main findings was that adult women are having abortions at a significantly higher rate than are teens.

As the report states, "Over the past three decades, the proportion of abortions obtained by teens has dropped steadily, from 33% in 1974 to 25% in 1989 to 17% in 2004. In 2004, more than half of all abortions (57%) were obtained by women in their twenties. Teen abortion rates have also declined—by more than 50%—from 42 per 1,000 women aged 15–19 in 1989 to 20 in 2004. A large part of the decline in abortion among teens—which began long before abstinence-only sex education programs began receiving federal funding—is attributable to increased use of contraceptives and use of more effective methods."

That is an exciting assessment, but I worry that the study misses an important factor: It is unlikely that increased use of contraception is solely to thank for the decline. The fact that every year it becomes harder and harder for teens to get abortions has to play a role as well.

when is a minor not a minor?

You can't turn around these days without coming across another article about Bristol Palin, the unmarried, pregnant 17-year-old daughter of Republican Vice Presidential nominee, Sarah Palin.

Most of these articles have focused on her mother's views on reproductive rights (she's not into them), teen mother's (she cut funding for programs aimed at helping them) and sex education (abstinence-only is her bag).

But as important as these discussions are, they don't address some of the issues Bristol is facing as a pregnant, soon-to-be-parenting teen.

One of these is her status as a minor.

intersex conditions

Sometimes the human body does exactly what we expect. Other times it decides to go a different route. One example of this is intersex conditions.

The term intersex is a relatively new one and it’s used to describe people whose genitals and reproductive organs don’t look or act typically male or typically female.

In the past, the word hermaphrodite was used in this context. These days, however, a lot of folks find that term inaccurate and offensive. That’s because, technically, a hermaphrodite is able to reproduce without a sex partner. Though snails and seahorses can do this, it's simply not possible for humans. In fact, a lot of intersex condition leave people infertile--a far cry from the ability to impregnate oneself.

you & your cervix

Until the emergence of ad campaigns hyping the HPV vaccine as a way to prevent cervical cancer, I don't know that a lot of girls had given much thought to that part of their body. I know that I sure wasn't agonizing over my cervical health as a teen!

That being said, it is a part of the body that you want to keep healthy.

The cervix is the top of the vagina and the bottom of the uterus. There is small opening in the cervix that is closed unless a woman is in labor. During labor, the cervix opens to let the baby into the birth canal. This is called dilating.  (When you watch hospital shows and doctors yell that a pregnant woman is about to have a baby because "she's dilated 10 centimeters," this is what they're talking about).

As mentioned above, the cervix can develop cancer from contact with certain strains of HPV.  It can also serve as a conduit for other infections.

time magazine takes on teen girls

Time Magazine recently published a really interesting article called, The Truth About Teen Girls and for once, I don't think the title is too far off.

The piece contrasts myths (teen pregnancy is a growing trend; oral sex is the new French kissing; watching TV makes girls have sex) with reality (teen pregnancy has declined over the past 15 years, most kids who do oral are already sexually active, TV is more likely to lead to body image issues than sexual activity).

before birth control was legal

It sounds kind of crazy, but until the 1960s there were actually places in the United States where it was against the law to use birth control!

This was partly thanks to the work of a man named Anthony Comstock. Comstock was a conservative moral crusader from Connecticut who fought to make giving out information on birth control a crime in the 1870s.

His mission worked in his favor and anti-birth control laws were passed around the country. As a result, women--who hadn't had good birth control options to begin with--now had even fewer birth control options.

In this climate, many resorted to ineffective and even dangerous methods of pregnancy prevention.

one STD makes you more likely to get another

Having to deal with one STD is usually challenging enough. But what if you had a few on your plate at the same time?

the booze excuse

We all know that mixing sex and substances makes you more likely to get into dangerous situations and less likely to use condoms or pick your partners selectively. I'm sure more than a few of you have also justified hooking up with someone by saying: "Well, I only did it because I was drunk."

I know that's true in a lot of cases. I mean, it's not that I never believe the girl who claims that one too many wine coolers was behind her make out session with the freaky Klingon speaking guy from English class. But I also don't buy that the situation is always that cut and dry. It seems to me that people sometimes get drunk or high so that they have an excuse to hook up.

vulva: a word we should hear more often

I sometimes do an activity with my college classes where I ask them to list all the words they can think of for male and female genitalia. The lists can be pretty extensive, and I have definitely learned some new terms from them (purple headed yogurt slinger, anyone?). However, one term is inevitably left out: vulva.

Vulva isn't a word we hear a lot. But since the majority of you have this body part, it's a word worth knowing.

what is precocious puberty?

When you think about how your body changes as a teen, things like developing boobs, getting your period and suffering from acne often come to mind. 

Well, what if these things came a lot earlier? Like at 6 or 7 years old? When this happens it is called precocious puberty, and the phenomenon is becoming more common.

lube lessons

During a discussion of safer sex the other night, I suggested that my class start thinking of condoms and lube as a duo. "Just get into the habit of picking up lube every time you buy your Trojans," I told them.

The giggles that followed suggested that my idea wasn't going to catch on immediately.

What's the deal? Why is lube that much more awkward than a condom?

the gender spectrum

Quick: What's the difference between sex and gender?

If you're not sure, you're not alone! Here's a quick explanation:

kick killer cramps

I remember the first time I was felled by cramps. It was grade eight and I was in gym. I had been feeling achy all morning and changing into the mandatory gym clothes seemed even more torturous that usual.

Throughout the class, the achiness only got worse. By the time gym class was over, I was sitting on a bench, doubled over and clutching my stomach as everyone else played a half-hearted game of volleyball.

despite the hype, HPV's not the end of the world

A new study just revealed that being sexually active as a teen does not predict future HPV infection. I wonder if this will affect some of the STD "education" that's been going around. I'm thinking in particular about things like a video I saw a few years ago called, "The Rules Have Changed."

Produced by and starring a doctor named Meg Meeker, (who is also the author of books like, EPIDEMIC: How Teen Sex Is Killing Our Kids), the video employs typical anti-sex scare tactics.

For example, in it Meeker warns, "Once you catch [Herpes, HIV or HPV], it's yours for life...In the case of Human Papiloma Virus, it may lead to cervical cancer, which kills about 5000 women each year."  The screen then flips to a shot of a body being loaded onto a hearse.

In the next scene, Meeker and her colleagues explain that condoms are ineffective. A teen asks, "So how can you have safe sex?"

an exercise you may have never heard of...

You know what bugs me? The weird notion that a girl's vagina gets "loose" from having sex. This myth is just one of many annoying things people say to scare girls away from sex. It's also something that doesn't make a lot of sense once you understand a little about anatomy (the vagina is a muscular canal, more like a rubber band than an ever expanding floppy balloon). But it seems to persist!

That being said, some girls are interested in strengthening the muscles around their genitals. There are a few reasons to do this that have nothing to do with "being loose."

One is that a strong vagina can intensify orgasms because when there is more muscle to tense, there is more to release.  Another is that a strong vagina now can help you out later. Whether it's having a baby or wanting to avoid adult diapers, working this area can have real results in the future.

So how do you get a toned vag?

vaginal discharge 101

I've learned that a surefire way to make my 6th grade girls explode in a chorus of ewwwwws is to use the word "vaginal discharge" in class.

Really, I wish there was a better way to describe the stuff, but is it any less nasty to say vaginal secretions?  And in general, I just get blank stares when I use the medical sounding term, leukorrhea. So for now, discharge it is.

But what is this stuff and why am I telling 11-year-olds about it?

STD symptoms

Back in the day a lot of people assumed that nice girls didn't get VD. Well, we stopped using that term around the time we stopped using belts to hold maxi pads in our underwear. Now we have to work on stopping the stigma. 

I mean, when the CDC reports that one in four teenage girls have an STD, (aka: a sexually transmitted disease or sexually transmitted infection), isn't is time we just admitted it can happen to anyone?

The most common way for STDs to spread is through unprotected vaginal or anal sex.  But infections can also be spread through unprotected oral sex on a guy or a girl. In some cases, they can even be passed through skin-to-skin contact.

Bacterial infections can be cured with antibiotics, but viral infections can't.  However, you can get vaccinated for a few viral infections, (for example HPV). 

The best way for sexually active teens to prevent STDs is to practice safer sex by using condoms, getting tested regularly, and talking openly with sex partners about risks. It's also important to know the facts.

jealousy: a sign of insecurity, not love

When I was in high school, I had a boyfriend named Cam. Cam was clingy, depressed and suspicious of my friendships. He was also not above inventing situations to "test" my loyalty. "My buddy told me you got together with a guy at a party," he once accused. 

"What? Who said that? What guy? What party?" I sputtered. 

"I can't tell you. I promised I wouldn't say," he responded.

Amazingly, I took the bait and we argued about this alleged incident all night as Cam alternately accused me of cheating and then swore not to leave me if I just told him the truth.

The truth was that nothing had happened. But by the time Cam finally believed this and admitted to his lie, it was with a lame explanation: "If I didn't love you so much, I wouldn't get so jealous."

I'd like to say I broke up with him then and there. But partly because I was convinced he would fall apart without me, I put up with his insecurities far longer than I should have.

And yes, this breed of jealousy is usually born of insecurity.

a bigger penis is a better penis...or is it?

A lot of us have the Samantha Jones friend who loves to rave about her wild experiences in bed. Today, you hear how she and her guy did it five times in a row. Yesterday, it was how they had simultaneous orgasms. Tomorrow she might drop a reference to his amazing staying powers. Inevitably, a mention of his large penis, will also be slipped in. I'm beginning to have a sneaky feeling that it's not just guys who lie about penis size. I think some girls do it, too!

let's talk about my first period...

Throughout my entire childhood, I wanted to be a teenager.  I poured over Archie comics, then moved on to the Sweet Valley High series, all the while dreaming of the day when I would get to experience the excitement of high school.

One thing I knew was crucial to growing up was getting my period. I started waiting for it at 10. When it still hadn't arrived by the time I was 12, I was pretty much convinced there must be something terribly wrong with me.  To make matters worse, my mother seemed to agree. The summer between 6th and 7th grade she packed maxi pads for me to take along to summer camp. 

This was going to be my second year at camp, and I was determined to fit in better than I had the first year. A few days in I was rifling through my suitcase, when Marion, a queen bee who actually needed the bra she wore, noticed the pads my mom had packed. "Oh wow," she said. "I thought I was the only one with my period!.That's rad that you have yours too!" 

Thus ensued a delirious half hour of bonding. "When did you get it?" Marion asked. "Do you have bad cramps?  Have you tried tampons?" The questions came fast and furious and I answered based on what I remembered from reading, Are You There God? It's Me Margaret. 

"Um, I got it in May, around my birthday," I said. "Yeah, cramps suck.  No I haven't tried tampons." The lies spilled out of me.

achieving orgasm

Never had an orgasm and want to? Only orgasm occasionally? Whatever is causing your orgasmic dissatisfaction, rest assured--there's hope!

Women who have never had an orgasm should first figure out how to please themselves because most women who have had orgasms with a partner have also made themselves come.

Not everyone is comfortable masturbating, but it's important to realize that masturbating is perfectly healthy and safe. It's something people do throughout their lives, whether or not they're in relationships. It's also just about the best way to learn what you find sexually pleasing. Once you can achieve orgasm on your own, it's easier to show a partner how to satisfy you.

Here's some crucial information on achieving orgasm:

elusive orgasms

Orgasms, if you watch porn (or even mainstream Hollywood flicks), would seem like all it takes for a girl to get one is a few thrusts from her guy's penis.  But as a lot of you probably know, having an orgasm isn't always as easy as the movies make it seem.

Both men and women may find orgasms elusive, but while this is a problem for approximately 4-5% of men, the Association of Reproductive Health Professionals reports that anorgasmia (aka: the inability to have an orgasm) affects between 24 and 37% of women!

Why so many? Here are some common causes:

getting wet

When I was a teenager my friends and I saw an ad for a personal lubricant aimed at menopausal women experiencing, “vaginal dryness.” We thought this was hilarious and claimed it was yet another reason that we never wanted to get old. We didn't seem to realize (or were just too embarrassed to acknowledge) that vaginal dryness wasn't only a problem of the gray haired set.

Yup, plenty of vaginas of all ages, just don't get that wet.

This can be an issue of arousal or one of physiology. By no means is it the end of the world, but the lack of lube can lead to uncomfortable or even painful sex.

painful sex 2: maybe it's medical

Yes, we've talked about preventing painful sex before. I stressed that a big reason sex hurts is that girls get hot and heavy before they feel physically ready. But there are other reasons for pain. So, if adding foreplay isn’t improving your discomfort, a medical problem may be the culprit.

Here are nine possibilities:

boobs are getting bigger

Guess what? It's not just American waistlines that are getting bigger.  Apparently our boobs are growing too. According to the blog, Bra-Making with Bra-Makers the average size of women's' breasts has increased from a 34B in the 1970s to a 36C today.

Two things are behind this rise. One is our national weight-gain. The other is breast implants, some of which now belong to teens.

The American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, reports that 7,882 teens under 18 had breast augmentation surgery in 2007.  In 1997, that number was a comparatively small 1,326.

So why all the teen boob jobs?

the top 3 myths about the pill

Despite the fact that it's been around since the 1960s, there's still a lot of misinformation about the pill. Here are three of the most common myths about the pill:

who were masters and johnson?

During my first year in grad school, my human sexuality professor came into class one day and announced, “William Masters died last night.”

A few students responded immediately. One said, “Man, he was such a pioneer.” Another cut in, “Yeah, but what about all that homosexual conversion stuff?”

I, on the other hand, attempted a look of serious contemplation that one gives when she has no idea what is being discussed. Who was this man whose death was eliciting such a response?

allergic to latex condoms or spermicide? your options

My first job out of grad school was at a university health center. In addition to restocking lube and dental dams, I also met with students. A lot of them were girls who came in complaining that sex hurt or that they had persistent yeast infections.

Sometimes, it turned out that what a girl assumed to be a yeast infection was actually an allergy to latex. Other times the uncomfortable sex was a reaction to spermicide.

Latex allergies aren't that common. Only one to two percent of the population is affected. But if you are one of those people, then using condoms can be a drag. Luckily, there are two non-latex condom options: polyurethane and animal skin.

like traveling? so does herpes: from mouth to crotch and back again

My friend Lacy is one of those people with really bad luck. After a super-long dry spell she finally met someone she liked. His name was Issac and he, like she, had been single for a while. After a few dates they hooked-up. But as she told me, they didn't have sex.

A few days after the hook-up, I got a call. Something wasn't right. “It hurts when I pee, but not like a UTI. I’m really sore and it feels bad if I sit for too long,” Lacy moaned.

That sucks,” I said. “Maybe it's just a yeast infection. Does everything look okay?” I asked.

Lacy wasn't sure. So while we were on the phone she grabbed a mirror and took a peek. Then she said frantically, “Oh my god. I'm going to the doctor--I've got something serious going on down there! ”

is it rape? how to know

After lecturing about sexual assault in one of my college classes, a freshman girl came up to me. She wanted to know if it was rape if some older boys got a twelve-year-old drunk and then had sex with her while she was passed out.

This had happened to her and she spent the rest of middle and high school known as the school slut. Not only did everyone in her school know about the incident, but her longtime boyfriend would bring it up regularly as proof that she was lucky to have him. She explained, "He always said no one else would go out with me because I had sex with so many guys."

what to do if you get carded for condoms

I know that obtaining condoms can be tricky, so sometimes I assign a “condom hunt” as homework. For the hunt, kids are supposed to go to a few different stores and answer questions like: Where are the condoms located? How many brands do they have? Do you need to get someone to help find them?

Usually the project goes off smoothly, but I have had the occasional kid who was unable to complete the assignment because a clerk refused to sell her condoms.

Apparently, this happens more than you might think. A poll on the Teenwire.com website found that 10% of their readers had been carded for condoms!

fun fact: there was a time when adult women had pubic hair!

Maybe it was different for other kids, but when I was in high school, most girls seemed to limit any worrying about pubic hair to the bikini line. The notion that you should take it all off, or even spend a lot of time grooming, just wasn’t part of the general consciousness.

In fact, while changing for gym one day, a bunch of us noticed that Julie (a girl who alternately boasted her sexual conquests and lamented them) had no pubic hair. She did, however, have a nasty razor burn. Not being masters of discretion, a bunch of us needled her for information. “Yeah,” she admitted, “I shaved off my pubic hair to keep me from sleeping with anyone else. At least until it grows back.”

Her idea was this: Guys would think it was weird that she was totally shaved, and the embarrassment over not having pubic hair would keep her from jumping into the sack.

This made complete sense to a locker room of teen girls. But I kind of doubt Julie’s logic would seem as obvious today.

female ejaculation and the g-spot...do they exist?

A few years back, I was having brunch with my friend Paige. We had a brief catch-up session, then Paige blurted out, “Oh my God. The other night, I peed during sex!”

After getting more details, I wasn't convinced that's what had actually happened. I mean, I hadn't been there, but I was pretty sure she had actually squirted, not peed.

Squirting, (often called female ejaculation) happens to about 10% of women during sex play. When a woman ejaculates, a fluid similar to the fluid found in a man's prostate shoots out of tiny ducts at the base of her urethra. The fluid isn't urine and ejaculation can happen at the same time a woman has an orgasm or it can happen without orgasm. A lot of people squirt when an area inside their vagina called the G-Spot is stimulated.

There is actually some debate over both female ejaculation and the existence of the G-Spot.

what's a judicial bypass (and how do you get one)?

What would you do if you got pregnant and decided you needed an abortion? Whether or not the law required it, if you’re like 60% of pregnant teens, you would probably talk to one of your parents. If you’re in the other 40%, it’s likely that you have a pretty good reason for not wanting to tell them.

That can be tricky for girls who live in the 34 states that require some parental involvement for minors to get abortions. But tricky doesn’t mean impossible. That’s because in most states girls have the option of getting something called a judicial bypass.

douching do's and don'ts (well, mainly just don'ts)

The first time I heard about douching, it was when the local pharmacy chain included one in a Back to School kit designed for teenage girls. My mom noticed the kit being advertised in a weekend circular and after realizing that a douche was nestled between the deodorant and the hair spray, muttered something about our provincial environs and its old fashioned notions of hygiene. (Back story: My mom was from New York, but moved to Vancouver, Canada shortly before having kids. There were times she felt like she'd ended up in the boonies).

My mom might have been a little off on her assessment of our surroundings, but she sure was right about douches.

you can’t be pregnant and have your period, really

Sometimes, when I’m teaching I feel like I come off as a tyrannical hardliner. For example, this happens when I get a question about having your period while pregnant. A typical exchange will go like this:

Student X: Can you be pregnant and still get your period?

Me: It isn’t possible to have your period and be pregnant. It is possible to have vaginal bleeding that looks like a period and be pregnant, but this isn’t common.

Student X: Well, my sister’s friend had three periods and then found out she was four months pregnant!

Student Y: Yeah, my aunt had her period for nine months and then she had a baby and she never even knew she was pregnant!

Me (girding for a battle): Look, I’m not saying that they didn’t think they had their periods, I’m just saying the bleeding they had was something different.

Students X & Y: Reproachful stares.

let's talk about chabstinence

Okay, I came up with a new word: Chabstinence. It's a combination of the words chastity and abstinence, and I think it gets to the heart of what a lot of folks mean when they use the two words separately.

According to the Merriam-Webster’s Dictonary, abstinence is:

1: voluntary forbearance especially from indulgence of an appetite or craving or from eating some foods
2: a: habitual abstaining from intoxicating beverages b: abstention from sexual intercourse

Celibacy, on the other hand, is defined as:

The quality or state of being chaste: as a: abstention from unlawful sexual intercourse b: abstention from all sexual intercourse c: purity in conduct and intention

ecp and abortion pills, what's the difference?

A few months ago, one of my college students stayed after a Tuesday night class to ask me a question. She'd had a broken condom over the weekend and wanted to know if she could get the abortion pill at her local drug store. “You probably mean the morning-after-pill,” I said. “No,” she said, “It's been too long. I need the abortion pill.”

Actually, it hadn't been too long, but like a lot of people she was confused about the difference between the two medications.

Partly, this confusion comes from the similar sounding terms. Partly, it comes from misunderstandings about what each pill actually does.

To explain that, it might be helpful to have a little reproduction refresher.

can i get pregnant if…?

There's a lot of scary stuff in the world; war, global warming, reality TV, and of course, being pregnant when you don't want to be. Though I can't help you with the first three, I can tell you that if you want to avoid a pregnancy scare, you should also avoid buying into some common myths.

on peeing after sex

Ever think that peeing after sex would help prevent a pregnancy?

HPV vaccine doesn't make a pelvic exam passé

A few years ago, I was reading the New York Times. I noticed a piece about trials for a Human Papilloma Virus (HPV) vaccine. The article explained that the vaccine could prevent both cervical cancer and genital warts, which are caused by different types of HPV.

I got really excited and sent the link to some of my friends. "Woo hoo!" I wrote. "Finally, a story about this stuff that doesn't make me want to barf!" It wasn't eloquent, but hearing the news got me more energized than literary.

I'm still excited that this aspect of women's' reproductive health got top billing from vaccine makers. But now that the HPV vaccine has moved out of the trial period and into the bodies of young women, I have a concern. Will getting vaccinated stop girls from getting regular pelvic exams?

do you know your HIV status?

I've had a few HIV tests in my time, but I've never gotten totally used to them. My first test was when I was in 12th grade. Terrified of what I would hear, I never went back for the results.

The second was a few months later. I was living abroad and was on a program that required an HIV test. When an envelope from the lab arrived almost a month later, I refused to look inside and instead handed it to my roommate. Then I held my breath as she read the word "negative."

A few years after that, I got tested at a clinic which promised results in 20 minutes. On the bus ride there, I glanced out the window and saw the word "AIDS" glaring at me in huge red letters. I was convinced it was a sign--and not a good one. But like the previous results, this one was also negative. Then on the bus ride home, I saw that the ominous sign was actually an advertisement for "Beauty AIDS."

Believe me; I know how scary it can be to get tested for HIV.

in praise of the female condom

Sometimes, when I hang out with my friend Alice, I like to remind her that while many people strike up friendships over class projects or shared interests, ours emerged as a result of female condoms.

the problem with pulling out

We all know that pulling out before ejaculating is risky stuff. One reason is obvious: no matter how noble his intentions, a guy might not withdraw in time. Another reason is pre-cum, which is the fluid that comes out of a male's penis before he ejaculates. Some guys have a little. Some guys have a lot. But none can control its flow.

sleep-gasms: wet dreams for girls

Have you ever woken from a dream feeling pleasantly flushed and sexually fulfilled? If so, you might have had an orgasm in your sleep (a.k.a. a sleep-gasm).

the peeing parts

A few years ago, I was teaching middle school sex ed at a community center in the Bronx. As I was leaving class one day, I bumped into Debbie, the English teacher. Debbie was in her late thirties, almost done with her PhD, and seemed like a pretty knowledgeable person.

We started chatting and Debbie asked how my class had been.

"Fine," I said. "But, you know what drives me crazy? All these girls think you pee out of the vagina."

Debbie paused for a second before asking, "Well, don't you?"

preventing painful sex

"When I have sex, it always feels like the guy is hitting something at the back of my vagina…"

"How come sometimes it feels good to have sex, but sometimes it really hurts?"

"The other day I was doing it and it felt really weird, even though I used a lot of lube."

Do any of these complaints sound familiar?  They do to me!

For the record, sex shouldn't hurt. Unfortunately, I hear from a lot of girls who are gritting their teeth and bearing uncomfortable intercourse. The result? More likely a sore vagina, than an earth shattering experience that would make even Paris Hilton blush.