pregnancy scare--from the gURL boards

xx_irish_rose_xx asks, "OK, so I'm not sure if I am pregnant. I haven't taken a test yet and we always used a condom but my period is pretty late ... Has anyone ever gone through something like this? Should I tell him now I think I might be pregnant, or wait until I take a test? I'm really nervous because if I have to get an abortion I want him to come with me and I'm scared he'll hate me and I'll have to do it alone."

What do you think? Leave a comment below. Or, if you want to join the discussion on the boards, go to the relationships & sex board.

Comments

[buttah 4rm greenSide PROJECTS EAST OAKLAND CALIFORNIA]

Get money

[Trowa]

The way a guy will take the information differs from guy to guy. Some will be by your side the whole time. Other "boys" will see it as the end of their future.

When me and my ex went to the doctor because we thought she was prego we found out some useful information.

Take a calendar and mark when you start and end your period. Throughout the year you will see that a regular period can actually fluctuate. This could mean periods are farther apart (some cases months apart) to just a few weeks and also in how long they can last (some girls are lucky and only have 3-5 day periods).

But to be safe just by an ept or similar test.

A guys view;
Trowa

[Arianna]

If you belive the guy will be mad at you or leave you because you're pregnant, you prolly should not be wit him

[Jasmine]

Yeah so i go through the same thing as you do like every 4 months. That little "scare" it drives me crazy. Don't mention anything until you are for sure pregnant.. because boys take this thing seriousley and once you've told them they're already into the whole zone.
You might just be having a really late period because of severe excersise changes..stress.. or even because you're hanging around different people (The girls around you effect you pyschologically)

[Heather Nicole]

IF U GOT ANY QU. EMAIL ME AT HNFHeather@gmail.com I WILL ANWSER AS SOON AS I CAN !!! =)

[Faye]

I have been through a sacre myself and it isn't nice but I told my partner before I took the test and he stood by me 110%. It is seriously upto you what you do but it is always easier if you can talk to someone. Me and my partner are now expecting baby gil in may and i couldn't be happier but if i had been pregnant back then I wouldn't have though twice about having an abortion. It is each to ther own girl but if you want my honest oppinion I would talk to ur bf x

[charlie]

hey i agree anyone in this situation hould talk to hier boyfriends or a close friend it is really hard to take care of a child im only 18 i've been with my boyfriend since i was ten a long time but i love it and i had sex when i was 15 and it was planned and perfect so to girls who are still virgins take your time wait till your 100% ready and in a staedy relationship always usea condom and protect your self because a baby is the least of your worries no one wants to have hiv or std even a baby isn't good but u et hiv and your life is ruined so please use my advice and take care and respect your body its so important but do enjoy sex is a very special thing when done with the right person please comment back xxxx

[kirsten]

hey, me and my boyfriend live 2 gether with my parent im only 14 , i just moved 2 a new contry and i only have my mum and brother , but now i think im pregant i have had my period but we never used condoms , i have gained waight im tired and i have sore heads alot, i dont no what 2 do im alone , we broke up now so what can i do , i have no way 2 take a test , i need hlp

[Tiffany]

If you are saying you have your period but it is late from the expected period, I say you are not pregnant.
If you are saying your period is late as in it has not come yet, take the test as soon as possible.
Take it a couple of times and read the instructions carefully.
Since you used a condom, it is a little less of getting pregnant.
Talk to someone you trust, preferably older.
Oh okay, I just realized this was discussed in January and it is now March, haha. If you are the person who started the blog and is reading this, please write us an update of how your situation is now.

[hannah]

ooh i've been through this! i told the guy and let him freak out along with me =] it'll bring u closer together if u go through it together..xxxxx

[Reece]

I think that you should take a pregnancy test before you jump to conclusions. If the result is posotive you shouldn't suffer alone. Tell your mum and you must tell your boyfriend, after all, he is the dad. Good luck x

[Oriana]

Rather pointless at this stage, but if you don't want children, you really should be thinking carefully about your sexual life. No birth-control method is 100% effective. Used in combination, the effectiveness is boosted... but nothing is 100% sure except abstinence. (Yeah... I know. How realistic is that to expect? *sigh*)
For now... take that test. You need to know rather than suspect and worry. I gather from your comments that you're already set on an abortion. It's not my say, though it's really rough on your body and not the best birth-control method. Talk to him. He has a right to know and be involved. If he hates you, then clearly he isn't the man who should be in your life. Remember: he shares the blame for this with you... EQUALLY.
Think carefully about children. The girl who said they were wonderful is rather naive. Yes, they are amazing, fantastic and rewarding...they are also hell and will wreak havoc on your nerves and social life. My daughter is nine... I wouldn't trade her for the world. She's my life and breath. But that doesn't mean every day is sunshine and roses. It is HARD WORK to raise a child properly. Anyone who says otherwise, is doing it wrong.

[Lo. xx]

Hi. I think it all depends on whether you want to keep the baby or not. You should definately tell him, but after you've taken the test. Its definately good to be sure. Babies are hard work and would probably dominate most of your 'teenage' expiriences. But they also bring people joy. So decided whether you're ready to become a Mum; as well as sorting it out with your boyfriend. If he is a good person and your relationship is strong, then don't be scared of him hating you. If he is a real man and truly loves you then he will be there with you every step of the way. Good Luck!

[love_is_a_tragedy]

If I were in your situation, I'd take the test before telling him, cos guys often overreact about this sorta stuff. Take a test, & tell someone else you trust (a close mate, parent, whoever) so you dont have to go through this alone & have someone who you can talk your feelings through with. Make sure you don't bottle things up inside you. I opened up to my best mate & he was amazing. A true friend won't judge you & will support you through this, whatever your decision. Good luck! x

[nene]

U shouldnt get an abortion u go through the nine monthes of joy and miserably and bout time that baby get here you will eventually change ur mind and it will bring happiness and joy to you and your bofriend. Jux dont be scared it life sweetie i use to feel the same way but its best that you go ahead and find out so you will kno and want do or take anything to harm ypu r your possible future child

[Caitlin]

I don't know much about your situation, but I will say this. Don't let anybody's opinion pressure you one way or the other. This is your life and NOBODY has more control over your body than YOU. If you are pregnant then do what you think is right, and your boyfriend, well do what you think is right as well. Only YOU know the choice that is right for you, nobody, including myself, knows what's right for you more than you do.

[Dorothy Taylor]

o yea and if u got any questions to ask me then my email is doornob101@myway.com
or www.myspace.com/ryanrapper101

and last meebo: anniefreeman43

[Dorothy Taylor]

i think that if ur prego that u should totally keep it i mean its a human being. im 16 years old my bf is 15 turning 16 in April and we have a baby boy named Jordan Leigh Taylor. i had him when i was 15. he is now 7 months old. we love him. A lot of ppl will say that having a baby at a young age ruins ur whole life well dont listen to dat dumb shit bc trust me having kids is great.

[k_money]

i wouldn't wait too long to take a test. about a month ago i found out i was four months pregnant. the whole time i didn't get my period i thought it was stress related because i was working two jobs getting about 80 hours of work in a week. I was a high school drop out. and my boyfriend and i had recently broken up and he was stalking me. so i thought it was all stress related but it was. when i didnt get my period by the end of january i went in for a test and it came out positive. so i went to my gyno and got another test to confirm it. and two days later they sent me to have an ultra sound to find out how far along i was and at that point i was 16 weeks(4 months), i am five months now and just found out i'm haveing a healthy baby boy. and i will never regret. i may be only 17 years old but i never once thought of getting an abortion. i went back to school as soon as i found out and dropped one of my jobs. Now i'm working on getting my CNA certificate and never once did i think of abortion. so if you are pregnant please keep it and if you and your boyfriend are not financially stable to take care of a baby and your family doesn't support it at least give it a life and put it up for adoption. There are plenty of people out there looking for babies and who knows yours could be the one.

[abby s]

i agree with the girl that said do what's right for you.
yes, i believe that abortion after a certain amount of time is wrong
but it's not right to bring a baby into this world
when you're too young or can't afford to take care of it.
abortion clinics are there for reasons.
you might have your beliefs towards abortion
but it shouldn't reflect how others choose to live their lives.

[angel]

if you discover it was a false alarm and are worried about another scare concider birthcontrol condoms aren't always reliable

[angel]

ok i'mstuddyingto me a conceler and think i can help pregnacy scares are pretty serious things but can occur quite often withtennage girls between there 8th grade and senior years the best thing to do is wait a week to see if if your period comes if not and your really scared take a test you shouldn't tell the boy unless your shure your pregnent i know this from experience most guys freak and things can start to go wrong don't worry too much about a skipped period this can be caused by stress and as far as abortion goes it's not recomended and doesn't make you unpregnant it makes you the mother of a dead baby in my opinion

[abby]

please dont get an abortion! abortion is wrong! after only 2 months the baby has a heart! that is killing a baby! even if you think oh it cant feel it.... it does!

[Daisy]

sorry again, i saw a comment saying that abortion was not the answer and u know what i say? FU! read my last comment, you don't know WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT! you do whatever YOU think is right, not some idiot priestess who sleeps with a man who kills inoscent iraguis because he thinks it's cool or that he's protecting america. Iraque DOES NOT HAVE ANY NUCLEAR WEAPONS! iran does, iraque is just a way for the government to boost the economy but george fucking bush stuffed that up too.

[Daisy]

Hi, i only found this site by chance but i truly feel for you. I think you should act fast, take a test AND see your doctor, if it turns out that you are pregnant don't feel bad about getting an abortion. In my view for a teenager abortion is the best option. Having a baby so young affects you and your child when you're not ready to have children. Remember that if you are pregnant it isn't true that you have a 'living thing' inside of you, it is literally just a 'fertalized egg'and is physically incapable of surving outside the womb.
You are also probably still in school or uni and having a child is a BIG responsibility and it will be impossible to continue your education and go on to a succesful career.
Tell your B/f that if you are pregnant and if he doesn't support you then you'll have to be strong, tell a friend, tell your parents.
If it turns out that you are not pregnant DON'T KEEP IT TO YOURSELF!!! keeping it all bottled up inside will make yoou feel sad, lonely, guilty. Understand that it isn't possible for ANYONE to go through life alone, remember that your parents should understand, go to the school counselor (if he/she's not a quack) and reach for your support.
I hope i helped.
take care!

[Daisy]

Hi, i only found this site by chance but i truly feel for you. I think you should act fast, take a test AND see your doctor, if it turns out that you are pregnant don't feel bad about getting an abortion. In my view for a teenager abortion is the best option. Having a baby so young affects you and your child when you're not ready to have children. Remember that if you are pregnant it isn't true that you have a 'living thing' inside of you, it is literally just a 'fertalized egg'and is physically incapable of surving outside the womb.
You are also probably still in school or uni and having a child is a BIG responsibility and it will be impossible to continue your education and go on to a succesful career.
Tell your B/f that if you are pregnant and if he doesn't support you then you'll have to be strong, tell a friend, tell your parents.
If it turns out that you are not pregnant DON'T KEEP IT TO YOURSELF!!! keeping it all bottled up inside will make yoou feel sad, lonely, guilty. Understand that it isn't possible for ANYONE to go through life alone, remember that your parents should understand, go to the school counselor (if he/she's not a quack) and reach for your support.
I hope i helped.
take care!

[ally]

sooo i slept with a co worker one night in january and it was stupid we used a condom at first then we did it again and didnt use one im scared i might be pregnent im soooo scared my period usually come around feb 25 and its march 3rd i wanna take a test but im flat broke is it possible it could be something else

[Gawjussunique]

Hey

I know this must be really hard. But i personally would take the test and then tell your boyfriend if the test is postive and speak on what you are going to do.

I personally wouldn't have an abortiong but if you want to then i would before it is to late
24 weeks is the latest you can have an abortion even then they not so willing to give you one

[Smile911]

(I don't really like abortion much and thats your choice not mine), and I don't know if my information would help any because I'm still a virgin, but I have gone through this with my cousin and my step-sister a lot. Before doing anything you should ask some one you really trust for advice, and if you do tell your guy make sure if your pregnant or not, even if you arn't you should tell him just incase anything like it happens in the future. If you have to go to plan parenthood They should help you out with anything if you have further questions. And try to be more protected then just condoms....

From,
Smile911

[jessica]

well i've been through the scare and i think its really terrorfying that you feel different , i took many internet " are you pregnant quizzes and they all showed that i had symptoms , but they weren't accurate because even though i had symptoms and everything , im not pregnant , so do not use internet quizzes cause they will scare the shitt out of you ....

[Sniffles]

Take the test fist, then tell him. Most guys are afraid of the idea of having a baby.You mentioned having an abortion and him going with you. I was 19 when I got pregnant and I had an abortion the guy knew but wouldn't go with me and after that we stopped dating. I look back that was 3 years ago and even though it was hard at first I can say im glad at the decision I made. I didnt want to give my baby the life I had, my mother had me at 16 so do yourself a favor and talk to a loved one BESIDES you boyfriend for advise thats how I found my way.

[abby_n_a]

take the test first then if you are tell him. if your having sex together you sould be able to talk about having a baby
but remember your body changes so getting your period late dosen't always mean your pregnant.
If you take it and you are don't be scared my best friend was pregnant and the babys daddy and i went though every thing with her. a abortion is always an answer but keep in mind there are other options to. and if he dose not stay by your side your better off with out him. good luck girl hope everything turns out for the best

[ninja3808]

Tell Him. Even if it turns out your arent you will be able to see if he accepts it or.. well you know... doesnt

[par]

i think u should not tell him girl .if i were u i would not tell enyone before tking the test . if he raly cares he would stay next to u but if he dos not and u finde out ur not prego brake up with him and u should tel ur parents frirst of al the people u know that means ur bf to. cause parents are the most importand peolple of ur lif (tell ur mom if ur close im shure she would not do anything she will just make u do the test)

[par]

i think u should not tell him girl .if i were u i would not tell enyone before tking the test . if he raly cares he would stay next to u but if he dos not and u finde out ur not prego brake up with him and u should tel ur parents frirst of al the people u know that means ur bf to. cause parents are the most importand peolple of ur lif (tell ur mom if ur close im shure she would not do anything she will just make u do the test)

[hello]

I hope you have taken the test already and secondly i hope you know that there are other options. I couldn't stand reading these comments about after 1/3 of the way through. I personally am pro ADOPTION. there are tons of families that are out there trying to have children but can't. To me it seems like why don't more people do this then just go suck it out of you? Its is beneficial to you as you don't have to carry the guilt of abortion, the child gets to live and be raised in a stable family, and the adoptive parents now have a child they once did not. www.bethany.org thats the adoption place i used and that was 7 years ago. to this day i couldn't imagine doing anything else. it has brought so much joy to me knowing I was able to give the gift of life.

As far as the bf don't tell til you find out.

[Gabb]

My last period was 15 days late.
I took on about the 11th day, and it was negative.
I think it was just stressed that postponed it so much, but you definitly need to find out.

And if you're worried about your boyfriend hating you and such for it, that sounds pretty rediculous to me. If he loves you then he would try to be supportive.

My boyfriend offered to drive me/pay for the abortion and everything if I was pregnant.
If anything the scare brought us closer.

[Fiaa]

hey ive been there and you should take a test asap but tell him he deserves to know and if hes a jerk about it remind him it took the two of you if you are tell your mom sure shell go mad but she will understand and suppeort you trust me
it will be okay though x

[ing]

oh my... i think you should go as soon as possible.. i see this happening to a lot of my friends and they wait so long because they are scared... If you don't want to have a baby i suggest you do something now or soon before it actually turns into a baby(morning after pill).. having to deal with an abortion must be hard .. don't wait so long to have to go through to one when it to late or not have to go through one and deal with having baby at such a young age. because once you have to deal with a baby your adolescences is over. people say that is not true but it is. think about it.

[Chelsey]

Hey all,

Look if you used protection then theres a very very slim chance your pregnant, the only reason your period is late is because your stresing out about it and that will delay the period.

Buy a HPT (home pregnancy test) just to confirm your not pregnant. You''ll find once you see that your not pregnant your period will come soon after.

Its very foolish not to take action after unprotected sex as sperm can survive within the uterus for upto a week. It is totally up to you if you wish to use the morning after pill girls. I is 90% effective, it prevents the egg from emplanting in the womb which some people may see this as a type of abortion. There is no living baby to abort when you take the morning after pill, it simply stops the egg from implanting I wouldn't call this and abortion.

[Sweet_lyke_kisses]

so i anm in the same boat! I recently had sex with my boyfriend for the first time and well as we were having sex the condom came off inside of me. This is so scary. He was actually worried about it too, but was too afraid to tell me that he was affraid! He had already ejaculated, and well we are both pretty freaked out about this! It hasn't been long enough to tell if I am pregnant, but we are nervous wrecks! I guess i dont know if I am worried over nothing or do I have a reason to be worried?

[_Chrissy_]

Heyy. I'm so sorry about your situation...I had a cuz with a problem like this..Anyway..Don't Tell him!!go to the store and get the pregnancy test and if it comes out postive(hopefully not)Then sit down and ask him how he feels about teen pregnancy..and then bust out the news Chicka! If he dosen't wnat anything to do with it..Just ask him if he would just go with you to get the abortion.. That's the least he can do...After all...he IS the one who (possibly) got you pregnat.(I would be some guy with a couple of ol' sticks like the good old days if some guy got me prego) And even if ya'll do breakup..Then if he loved you enough to have sex he should still care enough to go with you....and i'm sure your a smart girl(cause ya'll use condoms and all) so you know he's no man whore...He must be a decent guy, and he should go with you... If he dosen't..NO PROBLEM CHICKA!!! HOLD YOU'R HEAD UP HIGH AND GET THAT ABORTION..after all...who needs a man anyway? :) If it's negative...WOOT WOOT... No babys nad it's  all good.GOOD LUCK! :) I hope everything turns out okay and everything gets worked out.    Chrissy<3

[ashhlllleee]

I just found out I was preg a couple of days ago. My ex(the father) told me he wouldnt support the kid, be there for it, or ever want to see it. He also told me i should kill it but offered no help to do so. My new bf is being great to me as well as my friends. So I know what your feeling. Get yourself a support system and take a test before u tell him

[Serena]

I know I'm going to get beat up for this, but it's a free country, right?

If it turns out you're pregnant, please don't abort it. I don't understand why women seem to think that just because abortions are possible, they're right. Sure, fetuses technically aren't even alive, but they hopefully will be some day. Just because you can't see it or hear it, it's there. What if it grows up to change the world?

Oh, and Susie, Chicken Eggs are only sold when they have not been fertilized, therefore, there is no fetus inside the egg.

[Jessica]

Well my personal opinion is i think you should take the test first and then wait for the results. Dont jump to conclusions until you have the results first. I've been in this situation before and what I did was i asked him what does he think of a kid right now. Of course any dude would say they aren't ready for kids right now but if it just so happened then he would have to take care of his responsibility. I asked him if i was prego would he stick by my side and he said yes!!! I was so relieved to hear those words!!! Hopefully your situation goes way better and you turn out not to be prego and if you are I hope the situation goes well for the both of you. And by the way i wasnt prego!!!

[Misha]

Well girl i have to tell u if your period is late it is a pretty good chance you might be pregnant. If your a young girl you reaLly shouldnt be having sex anyway i mean it is possible to wait. Marraige is the safest way togo. Although this is true if your are in love and you go for then thats your decisio. Being that you think your are pregnant you need to tell someone you trust and take a pregnancy test. If you choose to abort the baby then i feel its only right that you tell him but wait until you kno that you are definately pregnant. If he hates you for discontinuing the pregnancy then you dnt need him because its your body and your decision to make.

[Palpenlipse]

Nice to meet you all, i have come across one adult friend finder site at http://findyouradultfriend.info.
Is that anyone know this site? Can someone go there have a look and please post some opinion here. Thanks

[Susie]

Oh, and please, don't listen to memmy8393. It's people like her who try to guilt and preach women out of their rights. You do what is right for YOU.

Why is it that when it's a fetus, it's "murder," but when it's a chicken egg, it's an omelette?

[Susie]

Hey. I once was afraid that I was pregnant when my period was a week late, but I ended up getting it. It was just super late.

How late is your period exactly? If you're only 3-10 days late I wouldn't be too worried. Sometimes your period can be irregular, even by a week. You should really start to worry after 2 and 1/2 weeks. In that case, take a pregnancy test. Just in case of a false positive or false negative, go to your doctor and ask for a blood test to check for pregnancy. A blood test is much more accurate than a drugstore test, although those can also be accurate. False positives and negatives are quite common though, so it can be frustrating.

PLEASE tell your boyfriend, but only if it turns out that you really are pregnant. If you turn out to not be pregnant after all, you would have worried and scared him for nothing. Whatever the case, it's a good idea to talk to him about being extra careful during sex, and maybe even using more than one method of contraception. If you think it would be difficult or embarrassing to talk to him openly about these topics, then it's only for your own good that you find someone who you CAN trust to talk to about such things. A girl should not be scared that her boyfriend will hate her. Is he anti-abortion?

Take care of yourself, and don't let anyone tell you what to decide if you do turn out to be pregnant. It is YOUR choice as a female, and whatever you choose to do is fine. :)

[Susie]

Hey. I once was afraid that I was pregnant when my period was a week late, but I ended up getting it. It was just super late.

How late is your period exactly? If you're only 3-10 days late I wouldn't be too worried. Sometimes your period can be irregular, even by a week. You should really start to worry after 2 and 1/2 weeks. In that case, take a pregnancy test. Just in case of a false positive or false negative, go to your doctor and ask for a blood test to check for pregnancy. A blood test is much more accurate than a drugstore test, although those can also be accurate. False positives and negatives are quite common though, so it can be frustrating.

PLEASE tell your boyfriend, but only if it turns out that you really are pregnant. If you turn out to not be pregnant after all, you would have worried and scared him for nothing. Whatever the case, it's a good idea to talk to him about being extra careful during sex, and maybe even using more than one method of contraception. If you think it would be difficult or embarrassing to talk to him openly about these topics, then it's only for your own good that you find someone who you CAN trust to talk to about such things. A girl should not be scared that her boyfriend will hate her. Is he anti-abortion?

Take care of yourself, and don't let anyone tell you what to decide if you do turn out to be pregnant. It is YOUR choice as a female, and whatever you choose to do is fine. :)