the booze excuse

We all know that mixing sex and substances makes you more likely to get into dangerous situations and less likely to use condoms or pick your partners selectively. I'm sure more than a few of you have also justified hooking up with someone by saying: "Well, I only did it because I was drunk."

I know that's true in a lot of cases. I mean, it's not that I never believe the girl who claims that one too many wine coolers was behind her make out session with the freaky Klingon speaking guy from English class. But I also don't buy that the situation is always that cut and dry. It seems to me that people sometimes get drunk or high so that they have an excuse to hook up.

So why would a girl need an excuse? Here are a few reasons:

• She likes someone that her friends don't think is legit.
• She's too shy to make the first move sober.
• She lives in a society that doesn't give girls permission to be sexual under other circumstances.
• She feels guilty about having sex.

Look, if you are using booze as a way to give yourself the go ahead to get some action, you're definitely not the only one. But before you drink yourself into a stupor, you might want to ask yourself if it would be better to hold off on having sex until you don't feel like you need alcohol to make it possible.

Have you ever used the booze excuse? What were your reasons?

Photo provided by OtisArchives1

Comments

[meagan]

well ive done the whole drinking get wasted and hook up thing plenty of times its fun and you get used to it after the first couple of times but i can remember one time i wished i hadnt me and 2 of my friends went to this party and between the 3 of us finished off about a 20oz bottle of liquior we were complely gone we all ending hooking up with 1 or 2 guys but the worse thing was is that i was dating someone and they were friends of his and took advatage of me! the next day we ended breaking up i was upset by this but i moved on ive gotten drunk and hooked up since this happend but im doing it while not dating some one!

but hooking up drunk is more fun!

[Candice]

A few days ago i was at my friends house party, one of my lad mates was there and he was pouring me drink after drink, it soon became clear why he had been trying to get me drunk, as he led me upstairs to the bedroom and began to kiss me, one thing led to another and before i knew it i'd lost my virginity and could hardly remember. I regret it far too much and there's still a chance i could be pregnant as it was unprotected. The consequences are something you dont think of at the time, but i have to face them now, and trust me it aint fun.

[dev]

you know people can say that alcohol messes them up so bad but i honestly dont believe that you would do any different sober i think its all about eiing able to have a scape goat if shit goes down hill

[Janet]

WORST WAY TO HOOK UP!
trust me getting drunk and hooking up is NOT the way to go.
about a week ago i got drunk and lost my virginity to my friend at his house :[
worst experience ever!
and i had a bf at the time (were still together) but i feel extremely guilty because i told him that i was gonna lose it to my bf :[

[KristennN!]

I think that hooking up and getting drunk it really fun.
I mean don't get me wrong i've hooked up not drunk, but when your drunk you just feel so alive and you don't give a shit and you just want to have fun!

and it's just better:)
Baha.

[brittany]

well, i have to say, if you are drinking to gain confidence, STOP drinking. lack of confidence is something that you need to take up with your own heart and mind (and mirror). if all your doing to solve your lack of self esteem is drinking, then you have to realize that that problem will never go away, it will only infest and grow to become a serious problem in your adulthood.

that being said, i have had two drunk hookups. i don't drink to gain confidence, i'm plenty confident on my own... i was just hanging out with my friends and dancing and having a good time... and before i knew it (on both occasions) i was in bed. i don't necessarily regret it... it was a friend that i knew, BUT i was not trying to gain anything or solve any personal issues by doing this. self esteem is where the problem lies, not drinking and sex.

[Lindsay]

In my opinion, as long as you're not to the point that you don't know what you're doing, there's no harm in drunk hookups. I personally will not have sex with anyone just because I'm drunk, but making out is no big deal to me. I've made out with probably 12-13 people, most of which were drunk hookups. However, I've only had sex with one person. The night I lost my virginity I had been drinking, but I'd sobered up completely by the time I did it. Also, it was with a guy I ended up dating and we really liked each other at the time. Lots of people thought I'd regret it, but I don't and I never will.

[sophie]

I actually could talk all day about this. Me & my ex-boyfriend broke up way back in July, but we have hooked up almost every weekend since then simply because one or both of us was drunk. That is five months of drunken sex and other stuff, with a guy that I am not even committed to. I don't know if he has been hooking up with other girls, but...well, we're not exclusive. I think alcohol has definitely had a terrible infulence on our friendship. We pretty much rely on it to make us not feel awkward around eachother. I would rather not hang out with him at all than have sloppy, drunk sex every weekend. It's just unpleasant. and unhealthy.

[katie]

I have done this before. I wasnt planning on doing anything with the guy, but some how we ended up doing stuff. I honestly just thought i was going to get drunk and just make-out with the guy, but thats not what exactly happened. I had fun and i dont regret it, but it's something i look back on and wish something could be different. I wouldnt say i used the booze excuse, but it was a factor in it. Next i'm just going to go ahead and do whatever with the guy and not be drunk. i think every girl should be smart enough to do what she wants when she isnt drunk.

[Nana]

I understand that some girls feel that the only way they can get enough balls to approach a guy they like is to get totally wasted. I don't fully agree and I find it very irrisponsible and sad. If the only way you can get the guy is when your smashed maybe you need to stop getting drunk and take a closer look at the situation because something is seriously wrong. And then pretending like something isn't wrong with what your doing is even more sad. Your showing everyone that your have a huge lack of self respect

[pheobe]

one night, i got a little drunk and when i get drunk i get a little more "friendly". i met this kid and i had no idea who he was and before i had time to say nah, i was in his car and we were hooking up. we had sex and he disregarded to tell me he was a virgin. i tell everyone i was more drunk than i really was but i'm so embarissed by myself. i wasnt a virgin but he was, and he just wanted to use me. i didnt care about that because i didnt like him, i didnt even know his name. but getting drunk wasnt an excuse for me to hookup, it was an excuse for him to hookup.

[...,.]

IT HAPPENED TO ME ONCE
I WAS DRINKING WITH A FEW Cousins IN THE WEEKEND
LIKE I ALWAYS DID.BUT THAT DAY MY EX THAT WAS MY FIRST BOYFRIEND AND FIRST EVERYTHING WHEN BY TO CHILL WITH THEM.I HAD A FEW BEERS BUT I REALLY WASN'T THAT DRUNK,I WAS JUST FEELING NICE.HE WAS IN THE ROOM AND I WENT IN NOT KNOWING HE WAS THERE..AND THAN OUT OF NO WHERE HE KISSED ME..NEXT TO YOU KNOW WE END UP DOING IT..THE NEXT DAY I GOT UP EARLY AND JUST LEFT..I LEFT SO DIRTY AND BAD BECAUSE HE WAS A LOSER AND PLUS I WAS DATING SOMEONE AT THE TIME.

[Jane]

I had a few drunken hook ups one night because me and my boyfriend were on a break and he implied to me he was going to cheat on me during our break...

So me being a vengeful little cow, i decided to do the dirty... When he found out he got upset and wanted to get bak with me.. Turns out he didnt touch another girl during our break... GUILT TRIP. But yeah i used drunkeness as an excuse.. But i knew what i was doing, even though i was completely off my face

I regret it because i've never seen him so upset before in conjunction with other risks i could've faced that night... Wether its an excuse or what ever its just stupid

[Ingrid]

um... i kanda want to get drunk sometime. it probably wont happen at a party. but ive never made out with a guy and i really want to. so yeahh..

[emma]

honestly, i was (and wanted to be) fairly tipsy for my first time, and it was with an acquaintance(at my close friend's house party). i did have reasons for wanting it that way(i dont want an awkward and possibly bad first time with some one i care about...i want to be able to please them!), but i was not thinking "oh, tonight, im gonna get trashed and sleep with some dude", it was some social with my friends to have a good time, and i flirted and ended up in bed with a cool guy who knew it was my first time and made it enjoyable for me. we are still friends to this day. i do not recommend this for anyone else, but just wanted to let people know, tipsy sex isnt necessarily bad, but it definitely isnt for everyone. and lastly BE CAREFUL, BE SAFE!

[Pam]

hooking up is SOOO fun (making out that is) ;)
& alcohol is just a little help to open people uppp:D
it doesn't have to be a blackout sort of situation, just a couple of cups tend to make cute shy guys approach.

[jams]

I drink to have fun at parties, not to hook up with people. However, I often go to parties sort of.. expecting it to happen. I get more guys hitting on me than not, and I know it's not because Im easy because Im not. So yeah, I have gotten too drunk before and gotten taken advantage of, I have gotten too drunk and made mistakes, but Ive also gotten drunk and done what may be skanky to some, but felt right to me (and the day after). And thats what matters right? I dont want a boyfriend, but I still want to be able to have fun and be sexual, and this is how I like it. It's all personal choice.

[Kellie]

First of all I've never had sex,and I definalty haven't had it while I was drunk!
But I almost did. I was at a party with one of my best and hottest best guy friends and we both got super wasted and well it got really hot. We were going very far but I was starting to sober up and realized what was going on and asked him to stop. He then asked me why. I tod him 1)We are drunk and 2)I care about you too much for this to be our first time.

[Effy]

I've never had to use the 'booze excuse'.

Alcohol makes me more sociable.
I'm more the person I wish I was when I've had 2 drinks rather than 0. I'm not the person I wish I was when I've had 6 drinks or more.
I know my limits and I exercise restraint even when I've had a drink. I've never done anything I wish I didn't, and only 'hooked up' with the guys I've wanted to for ages. Alcohol just gave me the balls I needed to go and do something about it.
Some people are socially awkward and/or insecure. Alcohol loosens inhibitions and generally makes people more sociable.
It's not pathetic to need a drink to grow a pair.
It's pathetic to drunk yourself into oblivion and not remember your name to 'hook up' with a guy.

[rawr]

this bothers me, it's like even if you did it drunk, YOU made the choice to drink, YOU made the choice to do lord knows what with lord knows who.
drinking is not an excuse to be a promiscuous idiot.
my friend doesn't understand why her bf dumped her after she made out with like 7 guys one night, her excuse being "i was drunk"

[lana]

honestly i think if drinking is going to boost a girl's confidence so that she can get up the courage to make out with someone she might not have to courage to otherwise, then let her. how else is she going to get comfortable with herself enough so that she can approach guys without drinking? i think it's an acceptable starting off point, even though it is definitely not for everyone.

[alexis]

I have never gotten drunk as an excuse to hook up with someone. However, when I'm drunk I am WAY more likely to hook up with someone. Not due to "false confidence" but simply that I wanted to have sex and when drunk with no inhibitions, I think why not? It's more of an in-the-moment thing.

[Jasa]

I think it's sad that girls feel so insecure with themselves that they have to drink to give themselves false confidence. One of my best friends did that all the time. In the last few months alone, she partied all the time, got drunk every weekend. She's slept with at least twelve guys, sometimes more than one guy at a time, and then she asks why everyone calls her a slut and why no one respects her. She wonders why no guys care about her, and why she's always screwed over. The answer is simple; if you act like a slut you'll be treated like one. So next time you're thinking about getting drunk and hooking up with whoever happens to be all over you, think again. It's not worth it, and no one will think very much of you.

[Anna]

So my younger sister started dating this guy who had been kicked out of college because he was at a party on campus and he got drunk and had sex with a girl who was also drunk. Turns out she then later pulled the Statutory Rape card... She was 15! We tell the story to people and they say he was foolish (which he was, but they put all blame on him) until we say what we both first thought - What was a 15-year old doing in a drinking party on a college campus in the first place?

[shelby]

yeahh I agree but for me, I HAVE only had sex because I was drunk. Sometimes thats the only reason; you're impaired and can't make wise choices. Last weekend I had sex with a guy because I couldn't really THINK about it you know? Like my brain didnt say "hmm..maybe I shouldn't do this.." I just went with it. It happens and theres not always a "reason" behind it.

[Cherry]

I think I've used alcohol as an excuse to get with this one guy a few times, it's only ever happened when we've been a bit drunk, I was sober enough to know what I was doing and I could have chosen not too, but probably the main reason I did was because I could hide behind the fact I was not entirely sober...or just the fact that drinknig makes me horny...

[Diana]

Thats so stupid

it happened to a girl in my school
she got super drunk
and ended up getting rapped by 3 boys

Personally i think that if the only reason that people drink is just so they can get drunk are mindless insecure people.

When i go out with my friends I want to remember what i did. I love the inside jokes that i have with them. So i can talk to them the next day about it. Not just laugh my butt off because i was drunk. I mean come on!
You don't remember what you do when ur drunk! so you could have done something that makes people look down on you for the rest of ur high school career.

I think that drinking is good on special occasions. but binge drinking is the MOST STUPID AND IGNORENET thing that a human mind can do

[Porcelain_Cheese_Doodles]

Hooking up was slutty enough, but this is ridiculous. I mean, girls who do this are just begging for something bad to happen to them, and I personally do net feel sorry for anyone who has something bad happen to them because of this.

[Jenny]

Strange. I am abstinent. I also do not drink. However my mom did when she was in college. Not to have sex though. She was a social drinker. I am abstaining from alcohol and sex. However I may never drink but I am waiting till marriage to have sex.

[NONEyA]

ii DiiD HAVE SEX WHEN ii WAAS DRUNK BUT iT WAS WiiTH DA SAME gUy ii HAD SEX WiiTH B4 ... ii WANTED iiT B4 ii WAS DRUNK SO iiT WASNT AN EXCuSE

[SHANAE]

WELL ALL I HAVE 2 SAY IS TO THE GIRLS THAT THINK THEY SHOULD GET DRUNK JUST SO THEY COULD GET THE COURAGE TO "HOOK UP" WITH THEIR CRUSH, YOU R LAME !!!! IF HE DIDN'T WANT 2 HOOK UP WITH U WHEN U WERE SOBER THEN GET OVER IT!!! U PROBABLY WON'T REMEBER UR MAGICAL NIGHT WITH UR PRINCE CHARMING SO JUST STOP!!!!!

[SHANAE]

WELL ALL I HAVE 2 SAY IS TO THE GIRLS THAT THINK THEY SHOULD GET DRUNK JUST SO THEY COULD GET THE COURAGE TO "HOOK UP" WITH THEIR CRUSH, YOU R LAME !!!! IF HE DIDN'T WANT 2 HOOK UP WITH U WHEN U WERE SOBER THEN GET OVER IT!!! U PROBABLY WON'T REMEBER UR MAGICAL NIGHT WITH UR PRINCE CHARMING SO JUST STOP!!!!!

[julia]

the one time i did get drunk, i was in no state to make sexual advances. first of all, it was the first (and only) time i've ever been drunk and i didn't know how to handle it. i did my best impression of a sober person because i wasn't having fun and wanted to go home, but i was still really goofy (giggling and staring) and couldn't remember much. i almost wish it would've been a "lose your inhibitions" state, but it definitely wasn't...it was more of a "stay focused, keep your mouth shut" kind of thing. i've never been able to let go of control and get over my "stage fright" enough to make advances so i was hoping alcohol might help. it didn't so i'm not inclined to try again.

[Morgan]

I was raped 4 months ago and decided that I needed to find someone that would have sex with me because they cared about me. So I started getting drunk every weekend and sleeping with different men to find one.

I never found him.

[Liz]

I can proudly say I have never used alcohol in this manner. Now saying that, I have a whole other set of issues. But part of that is I like to be in control of myself regardless of whether I'm in control of my circumstances. Drinker? No.. Control Freak? Yes.

[Rai]

I can safely say i've never used that excuse; i'm straightedge and i've drunk alcohol once in my life, when it was forced upon me by my ex... he also raped me at that one incident so i guess i've been put of alcohol if not for life for a long time.

[mya]

okay that is definitely the excuse i use most of the time i hook up with anybody (just make out)..
and well last night i intentionally got drunk with this guy i hook up with and i ended up giving him head for the first time (the first time i ever gave head ever)
before reading this i was also planning on getting drunk and us probably having sex (my first time) and honestly still might

[pammy]

I once went over to my guy friend's house who I really like. He liked me too and we wanted to make out, but we couldnt because he was unofficially involved with my good friend. He wanted to get drunk so that we'd have an excuse but I said no.

A few months later it happened again, except that this time we got drunk first and then fooled around a bit. We didn't have sex but it was enough to make me feel awful in the morning, because he didn't really want it.

When you're drunk you think stupidly and do things that even if you want them now, you won't want later. Be careful.

[justice]

i dont think that drinking gives us an excuse to have sex. i admit i was drunk at a party and i almost had sex with i guy i did not know at all , im glad i didnt because when i saw him the week after he was a immature jerk.

[casper]

i kno when i am drunk i am so much more hornier.
why does drinking make yuou want to have sex??

[Carly]

The first two times I had sex was while I was drunk and I will admit the second time I did drink to make it a less awkward and easier experience but I haven't hooked up drunk since. I felt like a whore everytime and waking up next to the guy not remembering anything feels awful. I suggest staying sober...

[Sabrina]

I highly do not reccomend trying to "hook up" while u are under the influence, just last week i did, and it did NOT result well.. we didn't use a condom, i didn't even go home that night and i stayed at his place. I lost my underwear, and my MOM found them.. it was tragic, and the guy hasnt talked to me since

[Denise]

I have never used the booze excuse but I have honestly thought about it. I'm way to shy to go up to a guy sober so I have thought of going up to one tipsy. I thought against it though. I'm terrified that the guy might try to take it further then I want and I will not beable to protect myself while I'm tipsy.

[sketchyblondes]

In all honesty here, the one of the few reasons I would want to get drunk/more than mildly tipsy is to give myself the false courage to hook up with someone (not sex, just make out.) There's no one I feel comfortable with enough who I could be that close to. Well, no one socially acceptable or willing.
I'm trying to avoid getting drunk, because I know I will use it as an excuse to do something with a guy, which I would probably regret the next day.
So, whoohoo!, terrible person=me

[Blake]

Date Beer Rape? :p
Anyway I think if people want to have a drink or two (and as long as they're legally allowed to do so) they should, but they shouldn't drink until they can't even know what's happening around them.

[Amy]

Hm.. I don't see why that last statement would be a clean getaway...

I at least know that it's illegal to have sex with someone who's under the influence.