how can i get the pill without my mom knowing?

Question: My boyfriend and I are thinking of having sex. However, I'm scared that I might become pregnant. We can use a condom but I'm not comfortable just using that. I am planning to go on birth control, but can I get the pill without my mom knowing?

Answer: Generally, yes. There is no law that requires a parent's permission for the pill or other birth control. But that doesn't mean that a doctor won't ask you for it. Nor does it mean that your confidentiality will always be respected.

It's really wise to get on a reliable form of birth control. Though I don't know your family, they might actually think so too. Often parents are a lot more understanding about things like birth control than teens expect. Of course, you know your mom, and you might have a really good reason for wanting to keep this quiet. If that's the case, it's good to know that you can.

Here are two key things to know:

1) Find out about your doctor's confidentiality policy. You can ask the receptionist when you make an appointment or you can ask your doctor herself. Be direct and explain that it is important that your information is not shared with your mom. If this seems like it might be a problem, consider going somewhere else.

2) Go to a clinic that you know maintains confidentiality. A good place to start is a place that receives money from something called Title X funding. Title X is a government program that pays for family planning services like pap smears, STD testing, and birth control. Anyone who receives Title X money must keep all patient information confidential, no matter how young a girl is. This means they can't tell your mom if you got the pill. You can find a Title X clinic near you through the website of the National Family Planning and Reproductive Health Association.

Got your own question for the expert? Send an email to feedback@gurl.com with the subject line: Question: sex ed blog.

Comments

[CocoPrincess]

Your mom should understand, it would be best to talk to her. You could say u are worried about being raped & getting pregnant, although it would be a lot better to talk to her.

[Cam]

be careful and do not just use BC by itself. my best friend got pregnant [she used the ortho-evra ring. so in my opinion it's not a reliable contraceptive] the bad part was she had her period the whole time she was pregnant and only gained about five pounds, and she never got sick. needless to say she didn't know she was pregnant until she went into labour. Yeah. it was bad. so be careful

[Taylor K]

oh and ps to the 15yr old with the 18 yr old bf... no sure which state ur in but thats called statchitory rape my darling.
good god people learn a little i know ur not all retarded

Posted by: dev | Jun 23, 2008 at 10:58 AM

So this was a board to ask questions and get answers. We dont need anyone "dissing" on anyone else. And for people who post their sex stories thats a little too much.

We met when we were alot younger though. Im the 15 with the 18 year old. We knew each other in elementary school and grew up together. Its none of your business what i do and when i do it. You dont know me and i dont know you so get over it

[<3]

so some of u are asking about the morning after pill. you can get it at walgreens, kmart too, or a planned parenthood clinic. the planned parenthood website has all the information of a whole bunch of differnt kinds BUT BE WARNED it makes you SICK. my sister was raped and took it and was just sick sick sick cramps from hell vomiting, diarhea misery. DON"T just use this as of i had sex and was lazy and didn't use protection. it makes u truly miserable for like 3 days and it screwed her period up.
BE SAFE :)
an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure!
-s

[Sarah]

p.s i was on the pill for 2years and STILL got pregnant on it, i never missed one. i'm 20 and i'll be close to 21 when i have the baby, so please becareful

[Sarah]

ok, all i can say is that birth control pills are a personal choice. if you go on them, please don't think that oh well that's enough, b/c it isn't. in may i was on the pill and had sex with no condom. 6 weeks later i found i am pregnant. so the pill alone isn't enough

[Hillary]

Just for the record... I have not had sex... I've never even been kissed... (im 16)... However, I know that once I have found somebody I love... and feel comfortable with I'll be ready to have sex... No matter what my age is. If you tell somebody not to have sex, they will still do what they want, and what they see as right... and that's O.K. It is NOBODY's right to judge another based on their decisions, just give them guidance... not a slap on the face. I live in a house where I know if I asked my mom if I could go on the pill she would say no, but I think parents should be happy enough that you are open enough to tell them, and that your willing to get the courage to ask them in order to prevent pregnancy. I also think they would be happier if you went on the pill, rather than if you ended up pregnant. Again, it is nobody's right to judge based on whether somebody is sexually active or not... it's their decision, not yours.

[sunshine]

hmmm im honestly amazed with all these comments, i cant believe all these young girls are having sex at a young age, and im young too (17 turning 18 prty soon yayy) but i feel that if ur ready to have sex your ready to take care of a babie, bottom line. I have nothing against having sex before ur married just not so soon, i would think that girls/women would be excited to start life wen they leave highschool and be somebody( not that ur not important to someone already) but i guess thier too worried about pleasing thier BF's instead, men willl always be there waitng to have sex no matter wat, its been that way since the beging of time, N E wayz im gettig off topic, just be safe and research and read about sex dnt ask ur friends, thiers ways, u just gotta take the time to learn them.

[starberry2947]

just saying hi. HI!!!!! P.S.:i like randomness :)

[LaurenGoneWild]

Well first off I would like to say that 13 year olds having sex, don't use protection or birth control, getting drunk etc. shouldn't be doing that at all. YOU DO NOT KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT SEX AND WAYS TO PROTECT YOURSELF. When something happens it's ALL on you, you want to act all grown up and try to flaunt it, well you should be knowledgable of everything FIRST! If you get pregnant who are you expecting to take care of you---your parents/step parents/grand parents? Do you have a job? Can you support another being or at least yourself? Pre-cautions need to be taken and some pre-teens and even some teens don't understand that.

Facts:
1) On average it takes birth control 3 months to officially be in your system, that's why it's still a good idea to use condoms too.
2)You DO NOT gain weight because of birth control.
3)There is a special way to put on a condom && you need to check for holes in a condom-Go see a gyno. or make an appt. with a free clinic, they have a special program that protects young girls under 18 by law. Check one for yourself in your area.
4)Never put two condoms on thinking you will get more protection, IT WILL NOT WORK AND BECAUSE OF THE FRICTION IT WILL BE MORE APT TO BREAK!

I am 18 and I am sexually active. I do take birth control regularly and I go to a free clinic to get it.

When telling your parents you just need to be honest and tell them up front. Be sure to listen to their concerns too. I just want others to know some facts and get educated about sex, it is important. It is your choice but I beleive you should know the facts before you know what your getting into.

Much love,
Lauren

P.s.
Be safe && use protection.

[gurl]

I have a question. Do you have to get examined by a gyno. before you can get birth control?

[brit]

If you're having sex you need to research all the forms of birth control and how to protect yourselves from STD's. If youre on this site you obviously have the internet so you should do some good ole' fashioned google searches. I'm 19 and I'm still a virgin by choice. I'm not saying sex is bad, I would love to have it ...with someone i'm in love with...and for all those 13 year olds...there is a big difference between love and infatuation. I'm really glad I'm waiting because the way I view sex is a lot different from what I thought and knew about it when I was in 9th and 10th grade. And anyone that is homosexual needs to research safe sex too, youre not immune just because you arent having vaginal/penis intercourse. Education is key and if you aren't getting it from your school or parents, look it up (and porn dosnt count).

And thanks to this website you really helped me out when I was younger with things I was too afraid to ask anyone else!

[Ellaa]

Im 13 and my boyfriend (who is 2 years older than me) has been dropping hints about having sex. My mum has given me the talk and she doesnt want me to have sex at all and im really worried about asking her if i can go on the pill. How can i stop myself from feeling really guilty about it if i do go behind her back - does anyone have any ideas?
Thanks x

[Grace]

I actually just started birth control a month ago. I went to the GYN because of a problem I was having with my stomach, and they had to make sure it wasn't in my ovary area. My mom was in the waiting room the whole time, and when they got done checking everything, I actually asked my doctor about birth control because I was really intrested in starting. She told me all the risks and benefite of the pill, then asked if I wanted to try some samples. She gave me three months worth and told me that if it gives me any problems to come in right away, if not, to come in before the third month was up for a checkup. Before my appointment, I was supposed to sign a sheet that ment that my parents would have access to all of my medical stuff, but I didnt sign it, so all the birth control stuff is secret. Make sure you ask about stuff like that before going on the pill, so you wont have to freak out about your parents finding out

[adifferentkindofgurl]

ok i have some things to say and yes i know im only 16
but.....first of all people.... sex is not everything but its not bad either... some of u act like if somebody has sex the worlds gonna end...second of all if u love somebody and u know them well enough and ur ready to have sex and ready for the consequences wether ur in ur teens or 20s 30s or 40s it dosnt matter the age...ur gonna do it anyway! and moms i have some advice for u....

DO NOT think that the more u tell ur daughter or ur son NOT to have sex that that is going to be enough BCUZ ITS NOT!!!!!!!! ive seen videos that were vulgar and gross beyond anything i could ever imagine about sex and STD's and it did not change my mind!...

Another thing.... (not saying u do or anything)

but if u call ur daughter a whore or slut or anything of that matter...she will most likely go and do just that.... and this dosnt just go for the sexual vulgar names either...ITS ANY NAME if someone hears something enough they will eventually bleve that they are what they are being called....TAKE IT FROM SOMEBODY THAT KNOWS FOR GODSAKE!!!!!!!!!

i am a daughter and im not proud of myself or the way ive done things so ........

respect ur daughters thoughts and answer every question u can DO NOT YELL AT HER!! and forgodsake TALK TO HER and try to get close to her otherwise she'll look for the love from a guy sexually once agen!!!!! TAKE IT FROM SOMEONE THAT KNOWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THANKS!!!

[Brittany]

I'm 15 years old. And my boyfriend is 18. We love each other and recently decided that we are going to have sex. It's not that big of a deal. But I'm scared to death because I don't want to get pregnant. I'm not on birth control. But he's going to use a condom and pull out. I'm not sure why but I just can't tell my mom that I want birth control. I've talked to her before about it but it's hard to just come out and say "Mom, I want birth control" because my mom thinks I don't want to have sex. But I'm ready. It's going to hurt the first time I have sex and I am aware of that. Anyways, back on the subject of birth control. I am aware that my mom went through the same thing because she was 15 at one time but, it would be hard for me to tell her that because I'm growing up and everything. I just don't want her to get disappointed. I hate disappointing my parents. I just want to figure something out that would convince my mom to be comfortable, or at least okay, with the fact that I'm going to have sex. I mean I know that she knows that I'm going to be having sex eventually. I just don't want to let her down by telling her that I want to now.

[Naya Punk]

I am 15, yes, still very young. I just bearly had sex with my boyfriend of three and a half months this week. Yes, we were both virgins. He's my first boyfriend, and we love each other very much. It was sort of a heat of the moment thing...all three times.....and he didn't have any condoms. SO we both agreed that we'd hold off until he get some from his sister's boyfriend (which i am totally okay with because two out of the three times i cried like a baby -_-').
Very recently my entire family thought i was pregnat for some odd reason and my dad and stepmom sat me down and told me that i if ever need birth control to tell them. But i really just can't bring myself to do it. My father has always been very proud of me, and i just don't want to dissappoint him like that. But thanks to this article, i know where to start off.
Also, There is a lot of controversy on the topic of birth control. personally, i think that if you want to have sex, be safe. And yes, there are a lot of young people out there having sex. But that is THEIR choice. It is not your place to judge them, call them names or be really mean about it. And if you do have a problem with it, you probably shoudn't be reading this. This site is for support, not for your critisism and narrow-mindedness. THank you, and have a nice day.

[Kina]

After reading almost everyone's comments, i can say that no one here should be disrespecting anyone on here calling them whores or dumbasses. this just shows how ignorant you are and how instead of you telling ppl they need to go back to school you need to go back to school yourself and learn some lessons in respect. It is your own personal choice whether you want to have sex or not or what methods of protection you use if you do decide to have sex. i would advise that you use both condoms and birth control or at least a condom if using both isn't possible. And to answer the girls comment below. Birth control pills can be used to help regulate irregular periods.

[aida]

I heard the pill regulates your period when you have a irregular flow is that true?

[aida]

No one shouldn't be saying any negative words to anyone or anything. The girls that want to talk the way they do that's there business. I personally thing no one can judge no one for, there actions. Never the less sex or whatever you want to call it is personal on different levels. And for the adults that think they are trying to give advice well that's not a good idea your just showing how low you intelligence is by calling girls "WHORES"; (and that's not going to make anyone girl talk to there parents). The pill is another story do the research look up different ones and ask questions about it; if you can't talk to your parents I don't know what to tell you. It's hard to but they have to know cause the truth well come to light sooner or later.

And yeah I'm a senior @ Northeast High School
17yrs
FL

[maggie]

i've had sex twice. both times a condom was used and there were no mishaps. things are continuing to get heated up with my boyfriend and i'm definitely checking in to birth control. there's no way i can simply ask my parents to go on the pill though. my friend's mom was cool about taking me in though, but i just don't know how i can pay for it. i still feel real guilty about not letting my parents know i'm having sex but they've made it clear that they don't even want me to think about sex until after i'm happily married. i know that i need to protect myself so the pill seemed like the best option, i just dont know how to access it easiest. and someone mentioned morning-after? anyone care to give more details about how it works and where i can find it and such?

[Lauren]

I would like to add that I am 24 years old with 2 children. one is 2 years and 8 months and the other.... 1 year and 8 months... that's right girls. My daughter, the younger of the two, wasn't planned. I wouldn't change having her for the world, but I have been married for 5 years now and my son was a planned pregnancy. I would like to add how shocked I was when I got pregnant, I was on the pill for over one month, which is supposedly how long it takes for it to work after you start taking it. They also say you can't get pregnant while breast feeding, which isn't true, I was also breast feeding my son at the time. My kids will be the same age for 3 days every year because they aren't even a year apart in age. Please keep this in mind when having unprotected sex. Don't just take the pill, it will only help you if you are taking it right, every day and the same time every day. Please use condoms! There isn't a pill to keep you from contracting STDs! Just a little food for thought. One last thing, if you can't talk about having sex while using the word sex then you shouldn't be having it. No more of this going at it or getting it on. It is called sex, nothing else. If you can't talk about it in the right way then you aren't ready to have it.

[Lauren]

"U girls need to worry about your abc's and your school work before you come and talk about I'm 13 and having sex with a 18 yr. old. No wonder why there is an infeastation of kids having kids. Some of you can't even spell properly but you worring about Boyfriend. Get a life! Then you get angry when the baby daddy doesn't take care of the kid. Keep all your nasty legs closed and worry about your studies. Then you wouldn't have any damn STD and a baby. Lets Think people that why we got a brain not just to sit there and look cute. THINK ABOUT YOUR ACTIONS!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: AfricanQueen | Jun 28, 2008 at 07:05 PM"

You are one to talk. 1. InfEstation 2. worrYing 3. Lets think people, that'S why we HAVE a brain, We're not here just to sit and look cute. Try taking some English classes to brush up. And please keep in mind, these girls are going to have sex if they want to and they need to be prepared so they don't get an STD or pregnant! Keep your rude and nasty comments to yourself. This board was made for advice that helps them, not negative criticism from someone who probably shouldn't be giving them any to begin with.

[BiffK]

Yo isn't sex for married couples? Oh and you're all a bunch of dumb whores. Espcially then little 8th raders having sex, anyway I'll prolly see you on Maury one day or Jerry Springer.
Till the,
BiffK

[BiffK]

Yo isn't sex for married couples? Oh and you're all a bunch of dumb whore. Espcially the little 8th raders having sex, anyway I'll prolly see you on maury one day or Jerry Springer.
Till the,
BiffK

[AfricanQueen]

U girls need to worry about your abc's and your school work before you come and talk about I'm 13 and having sex with a 18 yr. old. No wonder why there is an infeastation of kids having kids. Some of you can't even spell properly but you worring about Boyfriend. Get a life! Then you get angry when the baby daddy doesn't take care of the kid. Keep all your nasty legs closed and worry about your studies. Then you wouldn't have any damn STD and a baby. Lets Think people that why we got a brain not just to sit there and look cute. THINK ABOUT YOUR ACTIONS!!!!!!!!!

[domeneek eff.]

k. so it was my boyfrineds birhtday and we decided to "GET IT ON" in duh back of his pick up! he had boughten this condim called the french tickler ;) (it tickled) and as we were goin at it, i felt somthing inside of me still when he pulled out to switch possitions. IT WAS THE CONDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! quickly he fingered me to get it out. i was sooooooo scared. is my ego prego?

[amy ellison]

omy gawd like i amsoturned onright i reeely wunt to try afive sum now! lol!!!! i want toget pregg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

[dev]

and p.s love and sex have ... almost no relation welcome to the 2000's

[dev]

hey juili... maybe you should learn to read. 1st off t wasnt the "gpeople" that i called whores and i didnt say all of the 8th grade experimenters were ither. i also said it depends on your state so seriously get a life ... ive had the same boyfriend for the lst 4 years and why do i have a funny feeling your in the eighth grade screwing someone whos in it for the jail-bait-booty

[Juili]

Yo, to the last person who made a post. that was extremly immature, insulting and ignornt. Who are you to jude what other people do who you dont know do. Love has no age limit and look at it this way, biologically our bodes (females) mature at 13 or so that means biologically we are supposed to have sex. The standards of waiting were made up by judemental jelous girls who couldnt find anyone they love to have sex with. 15 and 18 is not a big diffrence and no it is not statuatory rape. if the relationship existed before he turned 18 or a 4 year diffrence. IF youre going to judge people be aware of the facts not what you think you know! The fact that these girls are talking on here show that they want to be respoinsible for their sex actions and want to know all that their is about what they are doing. You are even less mature by going oinline and callin gpeople who you dont know whores and sluts. you're proably one of thos jelous girls who cant find a guy who will love them so you call girls who can sluts.

[dev]

wow after reading all of these posts i have quite a few things to say
1) ya'll need to learn to spell and write with somewhat proppr grammer.
2) the pill doesnt make u fat, make u grow hair, mnake ur period irregular, or n e thing else all it does is it gives your body a hormone that mimics that of pregnancy so that your body thinks its pregnant therefor not releasing an egg, no egg no baby.
3) all of u 8th graders need to get a life im sorry but its girls like u that makeus all look like slutty std carrying whores who fuck n e thing n everything, your the reason people say "kids having kids" i know this is rude but i hope u get something an std baby w/e so mayb you will notice the risks u ignored.
4) using a condom doesnt make it feel n e different for you unless your using one of the ribbed/studded/warming/cooling ones ps. trojans twisted ones dont feel like shit and their thicker so my bf hates them.
5)people need to grow up and learn to research things you do it enough in school now put what u learned into action: all u people worried about birth control :step 1:google step 2: type in birth control step 3: do not go to a message board the horror stories are total bs trust me step 4: find a medical site or go traight to yazmin or yaz's site it will tell you everything.
6) walk in clinics/health units willgive you birth control no concent needed they dont tell your parents and rarely takeyour name.. for those little whores i reffere to earlier get a prenancy and std test while your there, we dont need you infecting our men thanks.
7) and finally get a grip, if the guy wont wait then hes not the right guy no matter how cliche that is and if u get pressured into it and stay with him get ready for abuse kids etc.

oh and ps to the 15yr old with the 18 yr old bf... no sure which state ur in but thats called statchitory rape my darling.
good god people learn a little i know ur not all retarded

[Bianca]

I'm 16 now...Me and my boyfriend started having sex when i was 15 [[a couple of months ago]]we lost our virginity to each otha[[i know how sweet]] and are pose to have sex in a couple of days...unprotected sex [[NOT wanting to get pregnant or anything]]I want to get on birth control [[but its no way i can ask my mom that she would freak out]]...I know teens having unprotected sex isn't good but the sex is way to good just to say NO CONDOM NO SEX...god please don't let me get pregnant...[[i mean i wanna have his baby just not now]]

[ana]

well me and my family have alays been really...open. so when i decided to start havin sex..well actually after a couple times..i told my mom i wanted birth control.

she was totally cool about it. she wasnt very happy about me havin sex at my age(13) but she was happy i told her about it and wanted to be protected.
she made a doctors appointment and got me on birth control.
now i dont have to worry about gettin pregnant :D

[desiree]

Im 14 and im goin to da 9th...i only had sex with 2 guy...My first and my boyfriend...I had oral sex 3 guy,i received it from my exs and I received and given from my boyfriend...Im not on da pill,i really dnt kno y my mom kno wat we do i think she is scared to put me on it...I LOVE HAVIN SEX LMAO,but i aint just goin to do it wit any and every body...It just makes me feel full, me and my boyfriend really dnt care where we do it at,We have did it out side,my house ,his house,his best friend bed,my grandma house...we aint even use a condoms and im not pregnant.... but today was his first time he nutted in me so i really dnt kno wat to do...

[marry]

so,i'm 13 & me and my friends went to a party last night and got really drunk. we ended up having a five sum. but im not talking about underwear and everything on, totaly protected. im talking compleatly unpertected. when i woke up ALL my clothes were in the corner of the room. that includes my bra, underwear, shorts, and shirt. and my friend matts clothes were right next to mine. when i woke up i felt something in my vagina and it felt good, like REALLY good. so i got on top of it. sucked it for like five minuites, and it was matts dick. he woke up, realised this, and we ended up having sex. it was amazing. he sucked on my boobs wile i licked his dick, then i pressed my boobs to his chest and his dick into my vagina, and humped. it lasted for about two hours. we just kept on finding new positions to go into, and eventualy got all sweaty and fell onto the floor. when the others woke up and realised this, they started having sex too. then my friend ben came over, got under me and matt wile we were still humping, only this time standing up, pushings as hard as we could. then he started licking my vigina and matts penis wile we were humping, and that was heaven. i cant even explain. and we all ran up, locket the door, and were there all day. i knew i was pregnant, so i thought i ment as well do it some more, im so turned on right now. so we all roled into a gyant ball, puching each others penises/veginas into each one another. it was amazing. we curved our legs together, so the peices just fit. we went up, down, side to side, any way you can think of! and then i licked, got my vagina lickes, wchich by the way feels amazing. its like a misage, only with someones tounge. and we also did it doggy style, any style you can think of.even wile im writing this im getting turned on. but now its over, and im pregnant. i really dont know what to do. i just want more sex. now. gawd, i have to stop typing and finger myself!

[pala]

so, i am in the 8th grade,and me and my boyfriend ryan had our secound intercorse urlyer today. we used a condim, but in the middle of it i felt a jult in my vegina and i got all cold. it almost felt like it had sliped off, and if it did, thats not good. i am not on birth control, and ryans old girlfriend got pregnant last year and had to get an abortion. so, if the condim did slip off ryans penise allowing the sperm to get inside me, then i have no clue what to do. if i tell my parents i am pregant, and i turn out not to be, they will freek out as much as they would have if i was pregnant. they think kids my age shouldnt have sex, all throught middle school, high school, and almosst all of colledge. but they dont get how it is today. at my school, guys make you have sex, or no one will even talk to you. it starts in sixth grade and just gets worse from there.

[brittanie]

ok so lately it has been really weird. in the past i have wanted to get birth control to regulate my period. but my parents are against it completely and tell me that there are other things besides that. but even if i know all about it. they both think that im gonna have sex as soon as i get it. and thats not me. i mean im not pure or anything but i want to get it just in case anything happens.

[_thE gUrl hE wAntz_]

im 13. ii love my boyfrend very much nd he's 15. he isn't a virgin lik ii am and ii feel like im holding out on him. he never presured me buht he has said he wants to. ii want tuh ask my mom for birth control buh im still not even sure if ii want to. is there any side effects to birth control?

[iots private:]

me and a frien (a girl) recently got drunk together and then we ended up ''doing stuff'' we both rely enjoyed it but we dont feel atracted to girls does this mean we are bi or confuseD?

[mary-kate]

i am planning on having un protected sex wih y boyfriend. where can i easily get the pill from in england?
also i really don't want to put on any weight.is it true that it makes you fatter?
i am really confused and 14.thank you x

[Taylor]

So i've read through pretty much all of these and have seen every answer to almost every question.
But not everyones mom/dad is going to have the same reaction as someone elses.
I have talked to my mom about the pill and i beat around the bush for a little while then i just came out and told her that i would like to be on the pill just incase "anything" should happen.
My mom freaked out, screamed at me, told me she was going to kick me out of the house if ihave sex in here, told me that she wasnt about to "give me the permission to have sex" and then didnt talk to me for 2 days.

And where do you even get this "morning after" pill at?

[nick]

mmm... i dinnk that i have sex just im merried like the promessed of jonas brothers

[Tyciol]

I'm wary of pills since they alter the chemistry and stuff. Guys don't take them so I don't see why girls should. I don't see the problem with condoms and if the condom breaks, then the new morning-after. With those, you just need 1, and you don't have to worry about missing one, it seems more secure.

Maria: The reason someone will care is obviously if the parents don't want them to be having sex, buying the pill is an indication you want to.

Hilly: Maybe they'd prefer you get an abortion if something happens? If something stupid happens at a party it's not exactly an accident... wariness of rape is a genuine concern though.

Claudia: I have never seen any evidence that using the pill harms your ability to obtain birth control later in life. If you haven't started your period at 13 that's fine, when you do then you would play it up if you wanted to fake it I guess... a lot of women tend to overdo stuff like it hurts more than it does to begin with, so it's not that hard.

kc: Messing around without a condom is not safe. Even if you go on birth control, you could still get an STD from him. That said, condoms don't prevent all STDs either, only abstinence does. I'm not sure why it would feel better for YOU without one, that's usually a guy's complaint, I would think it would feel same for the female regardless, possibly better if one of the special ones.

charmain: Sex COULD kill you if you got an STD, like AIDS or something. There are drugs to treat STDs so not many lead to death but many create a lot of suffering, expense, and could compound other problems causing death. Your parents have good reason to be concerned. She's wrong about it messing up your chances of having a baby, I never heard of that before. Condoms also prevent most of the serious STDs too.

Amanda: Having sex doesn't mean you do not value yourself. Some people who do not value themselves use sex to fill the void, maybe you did, but that doesn't mean that's the case for others. Do not get in the habit of transference. Waiting to have sex is definately a good idea though, I'm 22 and haven't had it yet, it is a thing that'd be nice to be special. It's not so much that, so much as not being someone to rush into experiencing life like it's fleeting or something, that's a negative attitude.

stori14: Srsly?

cyndi: You have a nice understanding mother. You're lucky, not everyone does, so you can't predict how they will react, just as you didn't predict your own would react positively, which is why that was surprising.

"If a fourteen year old REALLY cannot wait to have sex and must do it, I think there's a problem."

kat: I think being unable to wait and feeling you 'must' do it is a problem regardless of what age you are. I think you're also stereotyping it, not all 14yos who decide to do it are unable to wait, that's why so many of them don't just jump in the sack, they go out and learn about birth control and stuff first, so please do not demean these youths with such stereotypes.

"Girls should still be at least considering marriage before sex. Sex is not a hobby, it is not fun time, and has nothing to do with TRUE love"

Acey-Leigh, gotta disagree with ya there. Marriage does not guarantee sex will turn out well, that it is true love, or that you'll be happy. Not everyone believes in marriage, k? I don't think people need it. Sex is a hobby for some people, I'm told it is fun for some, and apparently some people in love with each other desire to have it. Love doesn't prevent lust, and sometimes it causes it. Lust does not prevent love, and sometimes it causes it. 'True' love eh? Measure that for me. Anyway yeah 'accident' is correct, meaning something resulting that was not intended. You should not have to incur responsbility for something terminatable. Embryos and feti are not children, things which have breathed their own air become children.

shay: Taking the pill won't make you fat, eating more calories than you use will make you fat. Exercise and good diet. It might affect your energy levels which can affect the ease of doing both of these (increase of hunger, decrease in energy) but ultimately, it is what you put in your mouth and how much you move and think which determine fat gain or loss.

babygurl: I agree with what you've said completely, but I gotta throw in some rude irrelevant ad hominem here: You should be spending more time in English class, instead of being sexually active ;_)

laura: Birth control is not unnatural. Humans are natural, and we thought up birth control. Anything we create is natural. It is also artificial, because artifices are things which are created. One thing it isn't, is something you'll spontaneously find in nature. Which is fine. Humans create awesome stuff, you use human stuff all the time. For example: clothing, and computers.

You may be lucky, or you may be infertile. Who knows, but you could get pregnant and then... well you deal with that I guess.

[Laura]

I believe birthcontrol is unnatural..therefore i dont use it.. i dont even use condoms..and im not pregnant ..maybe im jt lucky..lol

[simply_me]

Everyone has their own personal beliefs, but to me sex is a major step in your life that requires commitment,trust, & love. If a 14 year old is comfortable giving away her virginity then that's HER decision to make not her parents, & definetly not ours. In alot of cases parents will refuse to assist their underaege daughter in having sex, so her having a place to learn about birth control could be very benneficial. I commend gurl.com because there are few reliable & honest sources that provide advice from other young women & experienced experts on very confusing subjects, such as sex. Reality is that many young girls are having sex, gurl.com is providing information to help protect their bodies from STDs & unwanted pregnancies.

[megan]

you cant just say "why wouldnt you just tell your mom? it's not that bad..." without knowing other girls' situations.
it really depends on the parent; it's not as easy for some of us to go up to our mom and say "hi, im having sex. can i go on the pill?"
or however you want to say it to them.
my mom would go crazy if she knew i was sexually active (im not ready, i have no idea, it'll distract me etc etc), so i can see why some people would want to keep it quiet.

[carmen]

ok, i wud say tht if u wanna have sex and b on tha pill then just tell ur paretnts bout it..i mean if u tell them tha sooner then they wont b like y didn't u tell me sooner..i hate it wen tht happens but ne-ways just try talkin to them and they mite understand instead of goin behind their backs

[babygurl]

im 15 and when i saw this i became very interested because i am sexually active wit my 18 year old b/f. i dnt thnk dere is a "right" age to have sex, everyone is different although i do believe dta sex is not a game. im actually really glad that gurl.com is offering this information. i can find it very useful. and for acey-leigh accidents do happen, jus because you make the decision to have sex doesnt mean you want a kid. i really thinkyou need to check your beliefs.

[danielle]

I think some of the people who posted saying that this was promoting just the use of birth control, and not using condoms with it were a bit confused. The girl said she wasn't comfortable just using condoms and thats why she also wanted to get on the pill. I believe this is a good thing, its promoting the use of both types of birth control and keeping your self safe from STD's.

Also to the point of abstinence, people are going to have sex before marriage and teaching abstinence only actually does more damage than you think because your not teaching properly about birth control, which means teens who end up having sex aren't properly educated. Suggesting abstinence is a good message but educating teens about birth control is just as important.