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« so who teaches abstinence-only education? | | how can i get the pill without my mom knowing? »

discuss: if i have pre-marital sex, will it make me a slut?

Question: I've always wanted to save sex until I was married, but every day it seems like it's getting harder to resist. Do you think if I have pre-marital sex it will make me a slut? Will guys automatically think I'm easy?

Help a fellow gURL user out. Tell her what you think by leaving a comment below.

Got your own question for the gURLs? Send an email to feedback@gurl.com with the subject line: Question: sex ed blog.

Comments (54)

Pre-Martial sex is really hard to put on your "DON'T DO" list. Chances are that you will have sex before you're married. And if you do believe me that will not dub you a "SLUT"! But you should definitely stray away from having sex with too many different people, or too often!

no, premarital sex WOULD NOT make you a slut. i dont ever want to get married, its way to binding and too much work and a lot of money if you want to divorce. you should have sex when youve met who you think is the right person, when you think you are ready for it. i think that andy, allllll the waayyyy doowwwnn there, is completely ridiculous in their reasoning. i can hardly believe anyone could answer yes to this question. and i want to be able to tell my kids that both i and my boyfriend lived happy, wild lives before we et each other, and are continuing to do so.

hahahahahahaha!!! if having pre-marital sex makes you a slut, about 90% of teenagers are sluts. lol! lots of people have pre-marital sex, if you have it though, make sure its with the right guy, and use the pill and a condom, you dont wanna get pregnant when you're a teen.

Pre-marital sex does not make you a slut. People in the world use "slut" in the wrong content. Just don't sleep around just to be having sex.
People who call people sluts for having sex are judgmental and disgusting.
It's better if you wait like the bible says but God would not cast you down into hell for having sex.

NO it doesnt make u a slut. you should have sex if u want 2

You are what you make yourself out to be. No one elses opinion should matter to you. I've had sex with 5 guys and I'm only 15 years old. I lost my virginity to rape, and sense then I try to make up for it. Some people may consider me a "slut" but i consider myself and individual, just as any other teenager does. I'm trying to find myself, find out what I like. Don't ever doubt yourself or put yourself down. Sex is natural, it's a beautiful and fun thing. Don't let society bring you down.

Not at all. People constantly use the term "slut" when really, they don't use it in the right context. If you give up your body to a bunch of guys in a short period of time, then you have no self-respect, and THAT is what makes you a slut. Pre-marital sex, if done with one person, preferably your boyfriend or a boy you have been best friends with, in my opinion, is fine. Sex is a passionate experience in life, and I don't think waiting until marriage is necessary. I have to be honest, though, I always said I would wait until marriage, but I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year and there was no way I wasn't going to do it. It's tempting, and if you feel you trust him, then go for it, but take every precaution necessary for a safe experience. :]

Having sex before marriage doesn't make anyone a slut unless they're doing for the fun of it. I see sex as a spiritual connection between my boyfriend and me, and it strengthens our bond. It's this special memory/thing that we both share. Just as long as you truly love your partner and are ready for it.

It most certainly will not make you a slut if you have sex before marriage. I used to tell myself that I'd wait but when I got older I said "screw that"! ahah The only way you would be a slut is if you have sex with different people in a short span of time and on a regular basis. Guys wouldn't think you're easy because you had pre marital sex at least I hope they wouldn't. I'll some of my guy friends. :)

It most certainly will not make you a slut if you have sex before marriage. I used to tell myself that I'd wait but when I got older I said "screw that"! ahah The only way you would be a slut is if you have sex with different people in a short span of time and on a regular basis. Guys wouldn't think you're easy because you had pre marital sex at least I hope they wouldn't. I'll some of my guy friends. :)

Hun, there is no way it will make you a slut. Some christians believe pre-marital sex will have them damned to hell, I always thought that. Guys should never get the thought that you're 'easy' or that you're a slut. You have sex when you're ready, not when everyone thinks you should.
-Tori.

HELL no! If you love him and you feel like you're ready to make that kind of leap, then no one will judge you. Don't stay frustrated and repressed if you really want to do it, just be safe, make sure you're comfortable, and have fun!

I don't really believe in pre-marital sex. I am a born and raised Catholic so the influence is obvious but I've always tried to find the reason for the beliefs instead of believing things blindly. On my own, I realized that pre-marital sex is definitely something I don't want. Most people go for it for the pleasure, because it feels good and it's 'liberating'. I know people.

But I'd rather save myself for that one guy. It's more meaningful and you don't have to worry about STD's, getting called a slut :), getting pregnant(obvious no to abortion), ruining your life. So much less drama in an already drama filled world.

Of course, each to her own. At the very least, if you really believe that it's okay(see, in our modern world, anything seems okay now), do it with someone (one. not many at the same time.-you'll definitely end up being a slut.) you really love and trust. Don't just do it for the thrill, to experience it. Don't just do it because it feels good, because there's pressure, so you don't get called a prude or just for the sake of doing it. If you have to do it, do it with someone who really cares for you who you could seriously end up with.

But still, I'd rather wait. That's just what I think.:)

Yes I think it does make you a slut if you are under the age of 16. If you do not love the guy you are an even bigger slut for it. So let's recoup yes guys will think you are easy and it is even worse if you dont love the guy. You really ought to be worrying about other things than sex like having fun and just being a teenager. Stop worrying about adult things there is so much time later in life to worry about sex. Dont ruin it now.

honestly it doesnt make you a slut at all. people make such a huge deal. as long as your not sleeping with everyone you are not a slut. i lost mine to a guy that i wasnt in love with but we were great friends and i trusted him a 100 percent and i was 100 percent comfortable with him. If you feel its like right time and your ready then you should go ahead.

nooo way will that make you a slut, listen... im a catholic raised girl and i totally disagree with those who think its "immoral" and such to have sex before marriage.... WE'RE HUMANS! its fine! just dont go banging with any guy... if its someone you really love/like its fine if you do, then congrats... its your choice

you only got one life to live! woo

No, premarital sex does not make you a slut. It's a disgusting double standard which does more harm than good. That said if you really feel it's right to wait till you are married you should stick to your guns. Dont let peer pressure force you into something you will regret.

Having sex befor marriage does not make you a slut, but having sex just because you can probably does. If you do have sex befor you marry, try to ensure it's with someone you love. At least then it will mean something.

yes, i do think it will make you a slut . idont agree with teenagers having sex. at least thats my opinion.

No, having premarital sex won't make you a slut, as long as you dont let it.

For me, I feel I should loose my virginity so somebody I love and completely trust 100%, and mabey that wont come until marrige. But for others loosing it casually to a friend, boyfriend, whatever, or somebody without alot of feelings attached is ok too.

But each time you have sex, especially with a new partner, is a decision. So dont just think because you had sex with your last boyfriend means that you have to do it with your next. I've had friends who have been like that, and they've just end up hurt.

Just think about what you want, what your comfortbal with, and whats right for you. Your body = your decision.

the act of sex doesnt make you a slut..the act of sleeping with a new guy every night and putting yourself at risk for pregnancy and not knowing who the father is..thats a slut

just because you have sex doesnt mean your gonna do it with every guy you meet..lose your virginity to someone you can see yourself marrying...if it doesnt work out in the end...just date people..if you love them..sex can become part of it...

i've had plenty of partners...but they've all been steady long term relationships...thats what seperates you from casual sex people

Just to add another thing, after my first post im noticing other people's posts. And i have to say i disagree with some of the things mentioned. I dont think you have to "make the guy wait" or "do it with someone you love". As long as your comfortable, the circumstances shouldnt matter. I'll tell you what: i lost mine to a guy that was going to graduate with me, it was senior year, we were 17, and he was sexy and still a virgin, and all the girls liked him. Honestly i was just ready to lose it! I was always hearing everyone talk about it, and the one thing i didnt want to do is experience it with someone i really liked/loved because i was scared i was going to be obssessed and heartbroken if things didnt work out. So me and the virgin guy agreed to lose it to eachother, no feelings. and thats what we did. I didnt fall in love, and I wasnt upset if we did or didnt do it again, so doing it with someone you love isnt always the best idea, its whatver you think will make you comfortable. Just my opinion.

Hey gURL,
Heck no you wouldnt be considered a slut if you have pre-marital sex! If anything, that's the normal. It is hard to resist trying something out while everyone surrounding you talks about it. If you are curious, i think you should go for it, there's a first time for everything, I have a feeling you may actually like it, lol.
-Maria

In my humble opinion, no. I think that sex shouldn't be seen as something taboo or wrong. People shouldn't judge others because they live different lifestyles from the ones that they do. If someone is comfortable doing something, then they should be able to without harassment or judgement.

I don't think it makes you a slut. If the person you have sex with is one you truly love it doesn't make you "easy". A slut is someone who sleeps with a lot of people even if they don't love them.

having premarital sex does not mak u a slut.the only way u will be classified as a slut is if u have sex with like every guy who says hi to u.and i know u wont do that.so just be careful who u have sex with and be safe.
good luck =p

i dont really think that it makes you a slut because a slut is someone who sleeps around.. the only thing is that u shud wait it'll u find someone worth loosing it to... =]

Having sex will definitely ot make you a slut. I think you should wait to have sex as long as you can though. You should wait for the person who you want to share that with because if you dont you'll end up regreting it. my best friend had never kissed a guy before, and she was really self consious, and ended up having sex with my boyfriends little brother who she barely knew, and who she didnt even like. and now that she has, she regrets it. Fully. he also sent a bunch of naked pictures of her to all his friends. dont just give it to the first guy who comes along, make him wait, if he waits then its worth it. if he doesnt.. then.. With me for example, i had sex with my first real boyfriend, i was 18 and we waited 6 months just incase, and im so happy that he's the one I lost my virginity to.
I know this all sounds really cheesy, but honestly, you will end up regreting it.. you only get one chance to do it, and its not even enjoyable to begin with, so wait for someone who will be there for you.

Having sex will definitely ot make you a slut. I think you should wait to have sex as long as you can though. You should wait for the person who you want to share that with because if you dont you'll end up regreting it. my best friend had never kissed a guy before, and she was really self consious, and ended up having sex with my boyfriends little brother who she barely knew, and who she didnt even like. and now that she has, she regrets it. Fully. he also sent a bunch of naked pictures of her to all his friends. dont just give it to the first guy who comes along, make him wait, if he waits then its worth it. if he doesnt.. then.. With me for example, i had sex with my first real boyfriend, i was 18 and we waited 6 months just incase, and im so happy that he's the one I lost my virginity to.
I know this all sounds really cheesy, but honestly, you will end up regreting it.. you only get one chance to do it, and its not even enjoyable to begin with, so wait for someone who will be there for you.

i dont think havung sex before your married makes you a slut. i think you should try to keep your virginity as long as possible but when you do decide to give it up then make sure it is with the right person and you know that no matter what you wont regret it because your first time should be special to you. And as long as your not giving the goods away toeverybody and they daddy you should be ok lol

well andy my mother had sex with my real dad before marrige and then never got married and broke up before i was born and now shes married and i have a sister so no it does not make her a slut or easy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To me having sex before marriage don't make you a slut, out of everything sleeping with everything that walks makes you a slut well not everything just a whole bunch of different guys. I have sex now and im 14 im not a slut because i don't have alot of partners and i pick wisely. You're not a slut if you have sex before you are really supposed to.

it depends on how many times you've had sex, and how many different guys you have had sex with.
lets say you are only 14 or 15.
you should not be having sex.
i consider anyone that young to be a little slut.
epically when they do it a lot.

not necessairly, but it may deeply affect men later on.

some guys think that girls ARE sluts if they've lost their virginity before marriage. the choice is yours - but if you have religious beliefs, you probably shouldn't. think of it as saving yourself for your soulmate. you don't want to have regrets, and no matter what, when it's with the right person, you'll be satisfied, regardless.

no having pre-martial sex does not make you a slut. a slut is a gurl how sleeps around lots of other guys without a care. if you really love your partner and youre ready and you done the homework ( u know the risks nad how to prevent them) then do what u do sista sex is beautiful natural gift from god how loves u and when you are 100% ready and 100% in love and can 100% trust your partner love on sista but dont forget protection be safe but i will have to say that you should save your virginity untill after your married because it will be a gift to ur husband and the bible talks about the risk of un-married sex and why he doesnt want u to have it u known it's a comandment "thou shall not commit aldultery" means no sex with someone u not married 2 not not only no sex with someone else when u is married so just make sure your ready and you want to for the right reasons whether it's before or after u say " i do"

no, that would not make u a slut. it's not like ur gonna go give it up to the entire population, right?
as long as it's someone you care about, what do the "i do"s really matter?

no not at all a slut to me is anyone man or woman who sleeps with qther peoples partners on a regualer basis, everyone has the right to a healthy respectful sexual relationship as long as its concentintual safe (condoms) and it makes you feel good emotionally and physically why not just make good choics and dont do it for the wrong reasons (pear preasure, attention or just to keep a guy around. most of all BE SAFE NO GLOVE NO LOVE.

well here is my opinion of it. i set out for waiting till i was married from the time i knew about sex till about a year ago. i had sex with my boyfriend about one month ago for the first time and let me tell you something. i regret it. i still wish i would have waited till i was married and i don't know what i was thinking to let something as special as that go to waste. save yourself if that's your choice, but it won't make you a slut if you don't.

As people have already said, having sex before marriage does not by any means make you a slut.
Sex is a natural part of life, so I don't see how that even could make you a slut.

A slut is someone who has no self-respect and basically gives it up to anyone who wants it.
And liking sex does not make you a slut either.
If you both care about eachother and are responsible about it, go for it.

well what dose pre-marital sex meen anywqy

just because you have sex before you are married does not mean that you are a slut in any way! NOT IN ANY WAY! Also just because you sleep with one guy it does not mean that every one will think that you are easy. Girls that get called easy it's because they sleep with alot of men in a short period of time or they do it do please the man and not your self at all. Do it for you if you want to do it!

Andy, that's complete nonsense! How should anybody be ashamed to think that their parents might have slept with other people before?

The label slut is applied by others to you. You cannot decide how they will perceive you. But you can decide how you perceive yourself and your feelings and act accordingly.

Also, for the easy or not part... Well, I would much rather like a guy to say: you know, you are witty, fun to be with, nice to hug (whatever you dream of...), so I want to be with you and sleep with you rather than the same guy saying: you know, I wanted to go out with you because you have not said yes to anybody yet, and I will have a big ego boost if you make an exception for me!

i dont no thats the same question,i have cuz i dont wont 2 b called a slut etheir

Slut is perception.

There is no "If you have pre-marital sex x number of times, you are a slut."

And why no oral until you want to have kids? That seems backwards to me

umn i dont think so even though im yung but you should wait until you are old (i dont know how old u r) but at least 16 and dont do oral until u r ready to have a baby so at least 21

YES it does make you a slut. How would you feel if you knew your mother had slept with men other than your father. The actions we take now can affect us for the rest of our lives. Dont just rush into things - god sees all.

i don't think that having pre-marital sex with a guy can consider u as a slut....if u realy care about the person, and feel you are ready, than by all means, go for it. it doesn't make you a bad person or a slut. it just proves that you and the person that you did it with are comfortable enough with each ohter. and feel that you are both ready to make that big move. but it won't make you a slut.

isn't virginity & one of the biggest decisions and gifts that you can give away to someone??? your giving yourself up, so make she HE is worth that!!!!

sex before marriage definatly doesnt make you a slut if your respectful and monogomous. you also have to think about why sex before marriage was the wrong thing to do. back when that was considered and abomination people, didnt have birth control or condoms, so when you had sex that meant you had a baby. so it needed a stable and politically "correct" home to grow up in. now we have great technology and BC of all sorts, so sex can be for sheer pleasure. but some people wait anyway just to give "the ultimate gift" and many people can argue about what that gift is, in my opinion thats the child you and your other have together. or the vowels you promise to eachother.

Pre-marital sex doesn't make you a slut, as long as you respect yourself and make sure it's the right decision. No guy should think of you any differently whether you have or haven't had sex.

If you are really ready for sex and have someone you care deeply about then no one will think you're a slut. As long as you're being self respective.
Be safe :)

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gURL sex ed is a blog for teen girls from gURL.com about sexual education. We cover issues surrounding sexuality, STDs, pregnancy, birth control, condoms and more.