masturbators anonymous

it's not drugs. it's not alcohol. what could it be?

view comic:
masturbators anonymous

art & story by:
rachel nabors

Comments

[..]

What the F !! ..i dont think that's a normal thing to be doing...you do not need to do it at all..because you body releases those feelings and urges while you are asleep...it's what we call having a "wet dream"..So there for there is no need to do it...The thing is, is that our world is changing insanely and become more perverted than ever so therefore, it became normal. I guess the people who would understand me the most are the people who are close to their religion..dont have to be extremely religious..just know what your religion says..and btw, religions dont mention masturbation...however, when you masturbate you usually think of explicit thoughts and imagine...anyways, I think that it is not normal..only the perverts with no connection to their religion would say otherwise..

ohh btw, I masturbate and I am trying to stop it..because it is a dirty addiction..even though i do it..I do not think it is ok!! it's an addiction I am getting rid of!

[krissy]

whoo. i'm so glad... this comic helped a lot. I just started and i felt really wierd after and like kinda freaked out at myself...but...um maybe i'm doing something wrong. I can't orgasm. wierd. maybe i'm not in ...the right...spot?? IDK!!! i feel wierd. answers?

[krissy]

whoo. i'm so glad... this comic helped a lot. I just started and i felt really wierd after and like kinda freaked out at myself...but...um maybe i'm doing something wrong. I can't orgasm. wierd. maybe i'm not in ...the right...spot?? IDK!!! i feel wierd. answers?

[Jazzy]

Great comic!
and LOL
I masturbated once.. i think it can be fun..

[Bobillinda]

"aggh!Jehovah's Witnesses"
ROFL
Random
good story though :P

[gg]

You're welcom chronic masturbator girl!!
lawlz

[Alexa]

I would never think a senior citizen masturbates..let alone be in a recovering alchaholic annoymonus...

[Kelli]

I masterbate by rubbing my legs together.

I cant do it just by rubbing my vagina.

Any tips?
D:

[Randomdude]

Rachel, your panties, take them OFF before you start masturbating, you know, you'd have to spend a lot less money replacing them, or at least according to your talking cat. But anyway, right on!

[Unknown]

This comic was a little stereotypical not everyone masturbates, I don't. >>

[rachel]

that.was.awesome!
not only did the comic make me feel better, but the comments from all of the girls (and boy) took loads off of my worries. idk if it's weird, but every time i masturbate i imagine other people orgasming...
i know it sounds kind of perverted, but when i see someone showing alot of sexual passion on their face, it's like i'm happy that they're feeling it.. and it's a total turn on.. yah, it sounds weirder now that i've written it lol

[Jenny]

I don't masterbate, now I feel weird.

[prissie]

Another amazing comic Rachel !
u ROCK ! And yes, I used to think this was an issue but now I realise that's not a big deal, thanks ! ^^

[me]

i have thought about doing it lately but i dont know how and i always felt ashamed and guilty even bcyz i was thinking it. but i think i will do it soon

[Shay]

This comic was too funny! Its nothing wrong with masturbating. I do it, sometimes, 3 times a day. It a stress reliever. Almost everyone I know, does it. Normal.

[tiara]

well i dont think nothing's wrong with masturbating...you kno those shower heads that feels so good ya know i dont really mean 2 do sometimes i wonder is this normal but i dont really think its a bad thing i dont really watch porn ya kno its juss not really me but my homegurlz watch when they cum ova n it interest me cuz ima be having sex soon

[Ciera]

I watch porn and masturbate alot and this comic helped me to understand everyone does it

[ashlie]

i masturbate heaps.sometimes after i think that i should stop, butnow i know that im completely normal. im nearly a teenager, and i look at porn, is that normal?

[kyky]

good idk why but i thought only boys could masturbate but i would it anyway i also enjoy porn!!lol and i think im bi

[samaraspaz]

I don't masturbate, but I do LOVE Rachel!!! She makes makes me feel normal.

[[B]]

ACK! JEHOVAS WITNESS! *masturbates* lol

[Kayla]

This comic was sooo cute! It really helps girls who think they masturbate too much. I do sometimes, but not a lot. I do it mostly when I'm reading, although I don't realize that I'm doing it sometimes. =]

[Chantal Gronichon]

I can´t believe that so many readers took the Jehovah´s joke so seriously. Personally, I masturbate every night before going to sleep and actually I am unable to sleep if I don´t reach at least one or two orgasms masturbating.
By bye, Chantal Gronichon

[Tivana]

OMG I thought it was bad like I am addicted to itThanx xoxoxoxoxox

[erin]

Haha... it's so funny to see people getting all worked up about a comic. But oh well, the internet brings out the little angry man in all of us.

Thanks, rachel, for now I am convinced that I am not a crazed sex-fiend. I am able to look at other people and imagine that they probably masturbate too. Hooray!

[Simone]

Ha, I thought I was problemed. I only do it three or four times a week! I <3 Rachel :D

[jenafur]

This was so cool! I though I had a prob. But I still have a problem, sometimes I'm horny so I masturbate, but afterwards I feel bad =[

[Lana]

jehovah's witnesses, dont come knocking at my door trying to change my views. i usually just let my dog bark at them. i already have my own life together, i dont need any1 to try and tell me better.

[Blake]

I understand the whole Jehova's Witnesses' and door-to-door irritation. We don't have a problem with JWs, but we've had Mormons come by about 3 times in the last 6 months. It's getting annoying, b/c I have no intention of joining their church, but they don't want to go away unless you either slam the door in their face or lie and tell them you'll think about it.

[Easy Phil]

... Anon: Most people don't come over to random stranger's houses unannounced at random times of the year to pester them (with the exception of door-to-door salesmen but they're REALLY annoying). You want to get the word out, I get it, but there are less intrusive ways to do it, like putting up posters for example.

Knocking on peoples' doors is highly irritating because you could be disturbing them from something important, they could have been in the middle of a masturbation session or even worse in the middle of having relations with their other half.

You may think that you have "good news" that everyone "wants" to hear but you really don't. I hate to break this to you but it's the equivalent of someone knocking on your door, telling you that King Carnute is going to rise from the dead and end world poverty, handing you copies of ancient parchments and leaflets stating it so. Which sounds nice doesn't it? But it's still very, VERY unlikly to happen.

And don't hand me that "Religious intolerence" crap, because I thoroughly don't give two tugs of a dead dogs cock (I <3 Transmetropolitan X3) if you're a jehovas witness, hebrew, buddist, hindu, muslim, christian (that includes all the branches including, but not limited to: lutherans, catholic, protestant, evangelicle or baptist even if you think that any other branch except for yours don't count as "real christians"), wiccan, rastafarian, PASTAfarian, scientologist, satanist, agnostic/ atheist or any other of the thousands of religions/ cults that have been or are going to be created. Just don't push your beliefs on other people, because that's just civil.

I'm not forcing you to take my advice, shit I don't even expect you to even take that much notice of it. But of you could just consider what I say and mull over it, that would be super. Remember I never shoved your face into your computer screen so that you would read it, YOU chose to read it therefore YOU can't blame me for shoving my opinions down your throat, ok? That's another reason why you should use posters to get your point across, THEY read it THEY only have THEMSELVES to blame.

[Anonomous]

This is the stupidest comic ever!!!!
WTH?!?! What if YOU were knocking door-to-door and someone retarded was FRICKIN mastubating in front of you?!?! THAT'S DISGUSTING-LIKE THE PERSON WHO WROTE THIS-I HOPE YOU DIE, RACHEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

[Anonomous]

This is the stupidest comic ever!!!!
WTH?!?! What if YOU were knocking door-to-door and someone retarded was FRICKIN mastubating in front of you?!?! THAT'S DISGUSTING-LIKE THE PERSON WHO WROTE THIS-I HOPE YOU DIE, RACHEL!!!!1

[Easy Phil]

Stranger: If you're asking what masturbation is, your school did an AWFUL job of teaching you sex ed, you're too damn young for this site or you're too naieve for this site!

Masturbation or Autophilia: aka (for men): Wanking (Gender Neutral), tossing off, jerking off, playing with your meat and two veg, finding ones self(Gender Neutral), self exploration (Gender Neutral), testing out the wedding tackle, beating the meat, flogging the dolphin, stroking the ferret, whipping the weasel, choking the chicken, whupping the one-eyed monster, wrestling the one-eyed trouser-snake, nick-nacking Paddys whack, giving the dog a bone, disciplining the private, scaring off the Jehovas Witness (Gender Neutral), polishing your pole, drilling for white gold, playing pocket pool (/ snooker/ billiards), preparing cock rocket for lift off, pleasuring ones self (Gender Neutral) and many, many more.

aka (for women): Autogynocology, wanking (Gender Neutral), flicking the bean, finding the darling bud of May, finding ones self(Gender Neutral), self exploration (Gender Neutral), stroking the petals, petting the kitty, spelunking, searching for the elusive g-spot, one-knuckle shuffle (well, one to five knuckle, depending), rubbing ones self the right way, toying with mount Vesuvius, scaring off the Jehovas Witness (Gender Neutral), pleasuring ones self (Gender Neutral) and so on.

If you want to know how to do it, google "guide to masturbation", cos I'm not going to explain it :P

By the way awsome comic Rachel.

Politically correct disclaimer: This post meant no offense to the following; Women, men, car nuts, cooks/ chefs, "New age" beliefs (quote marks because they generally pre-date Christianity and therefore aren't technically "New"), people abstaining before marriage, butchers, dolphins, ferrets, weasels, poultry, cyclopses, snakes with disabilities, nursery rhymes, the military, JEHOVAS WITNESSES, miscillanious rods/ staffs/ poles, the Polish, the oil industry, pool sharks/ snooker players, NASA or any other space exploration company, gynocologists, legumes, explorers, the novels of H.E. Bay, florae, the feline family, pot-holers, Big-Foot, G-Spots, Subculture of One comics and Pompeii.

... Billiards players can just go f*** themselves.

[Stranger]

PLEASE READ

Will someone tell me what it is? What is masturbation?

[charlotte]

oh i am so glad i saw this, you have helped me loads. I touch myself like all the time, mostly my nipples, i do it when i going to bed as it helps me sleep. I dont care what people think of me because i enjoy it and i get pleasure out of it. I do it more that 3 times a day (in front of the tele, reading, in the bath, any where i am relaxed and happy). So dont worry about it guys masturbation is cool and fun.

[Emily.]

Okay, this is one of the best yet. I'm like...young but I masturbate and I feel bad, like I'm doing something really, really wrong. I have to think of two girls doing it. But I am not attracted to girls at all. It's strange. And also, about the JW thing. It's not insulting the religion, it's insulting the stress JW's cause, you think people want JW's coming and talking about religion on their doorstep? Especially if they've just got home from work or school or something. People need to realize that not everyone is going to have the same views as you, whether it's about religion or masturbating. :/

[Anna]

Hey male guy! Personally, yes, I'm all about the fantasy, 90% of the time. Sometimes about my boyfriend, sometimes about celebrities or made up characters or strangers. But sometimes I also masturbate when I read, just because the physical urge is there but I don't want to stop what I'm doing. And no, I've never thought fantasies were bad. Some are a little on the riskier side, but I have never been ashamed of what I do for fun.

[Pote]

I'm Pote, and I'm a masterbater. But I haven't masterbated since October '07. I decided to quit with a friend. I've never been able to do it without feeling very, very, guilty. (I feel guilty about everything) I did enjoy this comic though.

[Pote]

If there's anything to be offended about it talking about sex. (Cause everyone knows talking about sex is offensive) I spent a winter in Russia knocking on doors and telling people about Jesus. I KNOW I bothered some people while doing that. (I hope I helped a few too) The JW's shouldn't get insulted by all their free publicity.

[Stranger]

What IS masturbating??

[nikki]

To those who are offended: =.='' don't you guys have a sense of humor, its just a comic.. i have a neighbour who is a jehovah's witness, she makes jokes about it too >.> jeez.

To rachel: =D that was a great comic xD i love all of your comics.

[melanie]

Oh man. i love this comic. And people PLEASE get over the Jehovah Witness thing. It's not that serious. it's a friggin' comic for gods sake -_-. Dont look at something if you cant handle a joke. HAHA. it was foony though =D

[Sophie]

Well, I'll try and answer your question. Only if I had one about another girl..which I find no problem with anymore. I think that its only human, why should it be so judged so badly? Unless you scream it from every road in your town, you shouldn't be judged for what you think. I have heard that even some men who go to Cirque Du Soleil's "Zumanity" are "aroused by the kissing of the same sex."(two men) Again, its human..don't worry.

[A Male...]

...Yes, i know I'm a boy but every guy wonders what girls are always talking about. I am no more of a perv than any other guy. When i read that comic i was amazed at the message in it. Boys are generally told that masturbation is wrong because of certain...thoughts. My question is if girls also have fantasies while masturbating. If so do you not think they are bad thoughts? I guess that the answer will be " get out of here you sick person and never come back!!!" Sorry, but I am honestly curious and I am no more a freak than any other guy.

[Ronny]

I know a Jehovah's Witness and she makes jokes about it all the time. People are so serious about things, -____-

This is one of my favorite Rachel the Great Comics! x]]

[Sophie]

Same here, Beth! This actually changed the way I see myself. (thought I was a freak) And I also rolled on the floor with laughter! I thank whoever wrote this comic. <3

[ya a bitch rachel]

i used to love ya comix but now i hate dem my grandmother iz a jehovah witness ya a freakin bitch i hate ya ass go to helllllllll you bitch azz nikka i bet aa freakin homosexual guy

[kiki]

I'm offended by the Jehovah Witnesses commit too. I'm one and it hurts to see poeple poking at your religion.

[Beth]

Rachel this comic solved my little crisis. I too masturbate a lot and I thought it was unnatural, but this comic showed me that it's perfectly normal. (thought I still wish I would feel the need to do it less often -_-) *hug* You're the best!

[Lisa]

haha i masturbate more than 3 times a day, and its fun to just think about different thing.